Im a femboy and struggling (rant)
Growing up i struggled with my sexuality, i grew up in an extremely strict household. I figured out what masturbation was at a very young age by accident and i didnt understand it was "dirty". I prone masturbated until i was 16 yrs old because i figured this out from when i would lay on my tummy as a child and it felt really good. The first time i was caught, my dad beat me for it. I was so young i had no idea what i did wrong, i just knew it felt really really good. This turned into my dad deliberately trying to run into my room to "catch" me in the act and he would beat me time and time again. I had no privacy and felt like a total freak my whole childhood. I never was allowed to have a door for my bedroom either. Because of my childhood i have been scared to have any sex, im still a virgin at 26 yrs old. I am scared to get attached to someone because of my lack of emotional support growing up. I need to feel like a person understands me deeply to commit and feel comfortable having sex. (classic trauma i know)
Fast forward to about 18ish yrs old. I always was so jealous of girls being able to wear any clothes they wanted and being cute. I had experimented with some girls underwear growing up, and i felt terrible about it. I wasnt allowed to have a cellphone until i was 17-18. So i was a very late bloomer to the social media world.
I discovered what a femboy was at 22, i just so happened to hear about reddit from a co-worker because he was looking at girls on the app and showed me. This turned into me downloading the app myself and seeing what it all was about, which was when i finally ran into a femboy subreddit. I was hooked, i felt like i finally found my identity has been all this time.
Im mostly into girls, but i do like trans girls and other femboys as well. It sucks that most people cant have patience with me, or take the time to understand me on an emotional level, or judge me for being a virgin. Empathy seems to be a thing of the past. Most people i have been around only want to take advantage or break me for amusement. I enjoy cuddling and kissing so much more than anything else. It fills that void i have always been missing.
The moral of my rant is, if you have a similiar story, i hope you find the person that is your soul mate and loves you more than anything in the world. If your parents are a problem, eliminate them from your life. Dont be a people pleaser. If your struggling your not the only one, and do not follow the path i have and shove your sexuality and emotional needs in a deep dark place. You will regret it deeply. Find friends that will accept you for who you are and can talk to them and support you. I dont have those and it would be incredibly helpful i believe. Counceling may help me, but deep down i dont want to pay someone to "act" like they care.
(excuse my poor paragraph execution)
Love and be your true selves, cuties🥹🫶