My partner (44m) and our child (6f) belong to a well known nationwide group that holds once a month camping events for dads and daughters. Once a year they invite the entire family to join in on the camping weekend. My partner and our daughter have been part of this group for almost a year and have gotten to know other dads and daughters, and are super into it. They get patches for anything and everything and have vests these patches get sewn onto. My partner gives me a heads up that one of the patches the “chief” is giving out to all the dads is for finding time during the family weekend to have sex with their respective partner. And then the significant other has to find the chief (a guy most of the partners have never even met) and tell him that the sex was had, because I guess the dads can’t be trusted to tell the truth? After that, the dad can then get their sex patch. Of course it will be some inside joke, as all the young daughters will have no idea what the patch signifies. I can’t help but think this is so lame. It’s changing my mind about the entirety of the group. I told my partner that it’s weird for our sex life to be on his daddy/daughter vest. And I wasn’t into this scenario at all. He was pretty shocked at my response, he doesn’t seem to get where I’m coming from. AITAH?
u/B_A_M_2019
Hey guys. I do have an update to share with you all. This is my original post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/C9soXkJRQC
A lot happened at dinner and I’ve been feeling really down since then. I’ve waited to see if there’d be anything else to update you guys on as well, but so far it’s been quiet. At least for the past week.
So, I did invite my MIL and FIL over for dinner.
It did not go well.
It was tense from the start. I tried to calmly explain why I chose my daughter’s name and what it means to me. I also asked her directly why she felt so strongly about it and tried to understand where she was coming from, but she didn’t really give me a clear answer. She kept spouting something about how I’d made her son into a bad father (??? Idk where this came from?), and doubling down on some of the other stuff she already said. She even questioned my daughter’s paternity again.
At first, my husband was kind of agreeing with her or at least not really pushing back, which made things worse. But then she said something really derogatory toward me, plus the bad parent thing and paternity issue, and that’s when things changed. My husband finally stepped in and told her she was out of line.
After that, we asked them to leave early.
They refused, and it turned into a huge fight. It escalated to the point where we had to call the cops.
It somehow got even worse from there, she started yelling at the officers about how they should be “dealing with me” for terrorism, and she even assaulted one of them. They ended up taking her in, which lead to a fight between me and John, about how she wasn’t going to take up any of her ‘threats’ (even though HE was the one who told me to call the cops). And he left.
My FIL returned the next morning and offered to watch Nissa for me while I went and talked to John. He’d been nothing but neutral the entire time and had even been helping me the night before (to get my MIL out).
We ended up sitting down and talking, and he said he was going to divorce MIL because she’d always been racially insensitive to his experiences and downright crazy to his adult children! And now there was no denying her ugliness with my situation, and he wished for me to tell John to ‘suck it’ and divorce him too, or to at LEAST tell him to grow the hell up and smell the fresh air. He would NEVER grow up with my MIL as involved as she was.
Yall, my FIL told me, until he and MIL married, my husband SLEPT IN HER BED. He was literally twenty nine. He told me a lot more disturbing things I don’t want to repeat.
I ended up telling FIL I wasn’t prepared to talk to my husband, he had said a lot of ugly things the night before, and I asked FIL to tell John he could pick up some clothes but he’d have to stay with them or find a motel.
The last I heard, FIL went to stay at a hotel, MIL was bailed out by John, and John and MIL have been staying at their house. I’ve never felt so alone.
The only thing I’m sure about is my baby girls name. Nissa Rose, and probably my last name.
Sorry it took so long to post.
Edit:
For those who didn’t read my first post, yes, FIL is my husbands step dad