I finally said I want a divorce
I gave up hoping he cared enough to listen to my feelings and try. Last week he told me he’s been trying. I asked him to get a job 3 months ago and he didn’t take me seriously until last week, although I’ve been asking often. Today he told me he didn’t want to be talking about feelings all the time, which I guess I get when nothing changes so the same things are constantly eating me alive.
I love him I don’t know if we could make this work anymore and he put his noise canceling headphones on right before so he couldn’t hear me. This pushed me to say it out loud and directly that I want a divorce. I started sobbing and so did our kids because they don’t want to see me devastated in sobs. He responded by saying to them “I don’t know why she does this in front of you.” I could have done it at a better time, but he left them alone around a mess and I just needed it out. I don’t feel like they are safe around him.
I’m so sad. I truly don’t think he does things to piss me off, he doesn’t even consider me enough to be vengeful. The saddest part is that my daughters are living like this too and I feel like I’m drowning.
Tomorrow I’m calling daycares to get them set up with and safe. I’ll give him a few days to figure out where he goes. Thankfully the house was purchased before we married.
I hope I stay strong. We don’t deserve this and being alone sounds so wonderful at this point.