u/BMCarbaugh

Couch potato tech worker here! At the beginning of this year, I probably couldn't run 200 yards without huffing and puffing.

Around January, I got off my butt, started working out a bit, eating better, and a month ago I started running, which I haven't done in decades and always hated. (I love hiking, but hated running. And tbh still kinda do lol.)

Today I did just over 3 miles in about 40 minutes flat. Very proud of myself. Please clap.

Hey all. I'm a writer in the tech industry, which is incredibly volatile and unreliable on a good day. I've got a good hunch I've got a layoff coming, and I don't like how the future of the field as a whole is looking, so I'm strongly considering pivoting to wind turbine tech as a fallback option, and starting some kind of training program if/when I get laid off, so I can file for unemployment to cover expenses while I do it. I'd specifically like to be a site tech, ideally, as I'd rather not be away from my family for weeks at a time.

I've got some experience in both people-management and complex software project management, so I'm hoping that might buy me some brownie points and let me enter with a slightly higher starting rate, or advance a little faster or something. But we'll see.

My question is this:

In my state (PA), the state will pay a certain amount of tuition for jobs on the High Priority Occupation list. One of those is sort of a broad "Mechanical Engineer", and there are plentiful options to get certified in that by various tech schools near me (Pittsburgh).

However, I also know there are specialized wind turbine technician training programs. That's not on the HPO list, and there don't seem to be many around me, so I'd probably wind up paying out of pocket.

I'm aware I'd need my GWO either way, but that aside, which route would you recommend?

(Please note I have zero mechanical or technical background to speak of, aside from what one gleans from general tech industry osmosis. I'm a humanities guy. It's just a fucked time to work in media right now.)

So here's my story.

I'm 35, male, 6'1, and weigh about 225. Body make-up is somewhere between skinnyfat and dadbod. I don't look overweight to most people, and I'm reasonably fit (a lot more recently), but I carry a lot of fat in my stomach. Typical middle-aged dude beer gut, despite the fact that I don't drink the stuff.

In addition, worth noting, I have a familial genetic disposition to high cholesterol. Men in my family tend to die young of heart attacks, and it scares the heavens out of me, so I take good care of myself (or so I think, anyway).

A couple years ago, after a combination of frustration with my weight, and cardio bloodwork that said--despite what I felt were great efforts--my cholesterol was a bit high for my age, I radically changed my diet and lifestyle.

In the past six months, I've really escalated that. Like, a lot. Here's my current lifestyle.

Activity:

• Weightlifting 2-3 days a week, focused mostly on arms
• Squats, sit-ups, curl-ups, and other basic bodyweight stuff several days a week
• Walk at least 3 miles most days a week, often as much as 6
• On days I'm not walking, I'm jogging. I started a couch to 5k program in January and am sticking to it. I've never run in my life, so that change alone, after six months, surely ought to be showing SOME effect, right? (Side note: I fucking hate running.)
• On Saturdays, I do a high-intensity 2-hour martial arts class (specifically, medieval longsword). I am a puddly noodle by the end of this. Whole body sore, intensely aerobic. Think fencing meets MMA in armor while swinging giant swords at each other's faces.

Diet:

• I eat basically zero sugar, aside from natural fruits
• Absolutely positively NO ultra-processed foods whatsoever
• A typical day's caloric intake is around 1800-2200, which I feel is pretty reasonable for my height and activity level
• In a typical day, my diet might look like: oatmeal and an egg for breakfast, bagged greek salad for lunch, a cup of unflavored Greek yogurt with some chia seeds, a few more eggs for dinner, maybe a piece of toast. Snack wise, I'll typically grab things that are either calorically neutral and taste good (a pickle, a few olives, etc) or low-calorie but filling and high protein (a handful of nuts, half a cup of yogurt, a tuna pouch, and so on). Every now and then, if I'm feeling spicy, I'll eat an apple or some grapes. I cannot stress enough that I eat no artificial sugar or processed foods whatsoever.
• Any carbs primarily come from homemade bread (which I 3-4 days a week), or pasta (1-2 days a week).
• When cooking, I use olive oil instead of butter most of the time.
• On days with a lot of workout going on, I'll supplement with a protein powder, just to be extra super positive I'm getting adequate protein. Generally speaking, I am 150% confident I'm getting enough fiber and protein. I eat veggies and lean meats like they've got the cure for cancer in them.
• Hydration wise, I drink several glasses of water a day, and drink 3-4 cups of half-caf coffee, always black. No sugar, no cream. Occasionally I'll sub the coffee for black tea, and maybe once a week I'll have a cup of almond milk or some apple juice. I do not drink sodas etc. Or really anything other than what's listed here.

Other stuff:

• Mental health is great. I love my life right now and am very content with things, aside from this dang scale.
• I get plenty of sleep (about 7 hours a night).

I've been doing this diet and the walking for years, and all the other fitness stuff for about six months. I've put on a bunch of muscle (arms are legs are looking great), but my fat level remains unchanged (face and gut look basically identical), and my weight has not moved a bit. If anything, I've gained a little.

I recently went to the doctor, and was told, to my very great consternation, that my glucose and cholesterol were a bit high--despite years of a better diet and six months of radical fitness changes--since the last time I got it checked. I was even on a statin for a few years.

It feels like no matter what I do, my body just doesn't want to give up the fat, and my cholesterol simply will not come down.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

A player at my table is playing a Horizon Walker, and one of their abilities, Distant Strike, has led to so much unintended comedy.

The text of the ability basically stipulates that any time you use the Attack action, you can--BEFORE that attack--teleport up to 10 feet.

The effect of this, in practice, is a short-range Misty Step that doesn't cost a spell slot. However, if you use it, you become contractually narratively obligated, by the laws of casuality, to attack afterward. If you teleport first, you MUST attack after, in order to have teleported first. If you teleport and don't attack, you have broken the time-stream.

Making it even better, it doesn't say "when you attack a creature". It says "when you use the attack action". Which, per RAW, attack actions don't need to target a creature. You can target anything. A wall. A patch of air.

This has created situations where, for example, in order to escape being pinned by a crate, this player will use Distant Strike to teleport free, then angrily kick the box because they're chronologically required to in order to complete the transaction. We've joked that presumably you could also fulfill the requirements by like turning and smacking an ally upside the back of the head. You don't even need to land the attack! You just have to *attempt* to hit something.

This never ceases to be hilarious to us.