WIBTA if I didn't invite my mother and grandparents to my wife and I's gender reveal and baby shower?
I was born and raised jewish . My grandparents are orthodox. When I was in the 8th grade they told me if I didn't marry a jewish girl they would disown me. When I was a senior in high school I brought my gf (not my wife) to a sabbath dinner. They told me that if I were to have children with her in the future then they would not acknowledge them as their grandchildren.
When my wife and I were to be married my family got me to call them and see if we were to change the date of our wedding (it was a Saturday and would interfere with the sabbath) if they would come. My grandmother said, "we won't come and you know why." She then followed up with, "you're throwing away your bloodline for some woman." After that day my grandfather hasn't said a word to my wife at any family event and my grandmother only ever talks to my wife about fashion stuff and only long enough to be deemed polite.
My mother is a whole other animal. I learned my left from my right because she asked me a question, I said right when I meant left, and when I was wrong she slapped me on my left cheek and said, "that's your left, don't forget it." She is a controlling narcissistic alcoholic.
Right before my wife and I got married, she cornered my wife and told her that everything wrong with me was her fault, that she didn't like her, and that she didn't approve of our marriage. Kinda crazy coming from her, considering her choice in men after my dad and her got divorced. She immediately started talking to her ex bf (John) from high school and tried to speed up his separation and divorce from his wife. After that fiasco she eventually started talking to another guy (Jim). Also from high school. She told us he was a few months away from signing his divorce papers. Just waiting on the legal system. NOPE! His wife didn't even know he wanted a divorce. She found out the day he decided to spend the weekend with my mother. Worst part is that my mother knew she was wrecking a marriage.
Additionally, my grandmother and grandfather (bio) got divorced when my mom and aunt were young. Details about that: my grandmother cheated and my aunt isn't my grandpa's, but he signed the birth certificate and said she would be his regardless. He didn't tell anyone except his sister. She's got Alzheimer's and before she loses her mind she tells my mother. My mother hangs this above my siblings and I's heads for months, telling us if we tell anyone she will have us disowned and exiled from the entire family. She gets drunk (she's a super alcoholic, like eyes turn yellow when she drinks) at a dinner and throws hands with my sister's bf's parents, causes a scene, and then we all end up in the parking lot outside where she tries to fight everyone. She told my aunt, "you're not even my real sister. My daddy isn't your daddy." That's how she broke the news. My cousin is like my older sister and luckily enough when she was told she didn't blame us, just my mother.