Reflecting, why didn't I leave sooner?
It's my (F20) 3 year freedom anniversary today (yay!) so I was reflecting on my past relationship with a crazy emotionally/sexually abusive ex of mine. We were teenagers back when everything happened. I always ask myself why I held on for so long despite the physical and mental damage occurring, when looking back it's all clear as day. I find that I feel almost guilty sometimes, like I sat by and let it happen to myself, even though I know that's not the case. I just can't shake those thoughts on occasion. I feel especially bad when I think about the person I was before and during these events. I was so young, and I feel so bad for little me.
Nothing like being told "Whenever I’m happy with you it’s because you made me happy to be around you, whenever I snap change my mind you did something that made me not happy. So remember that." At the ripe age of 17.
Anyone else in the same boat? How do you guys cope with these feelings?