Am I (M26) ignoring, that me and my GF (24F) aren't compatible at all?
Since literally all of my friends are single, I made an account to ask on here whether this is something other couples run into as well, or if there is an underlying problem here. My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years and are sharing an apartment since January 2025. I lived in a shitty overpriced single-bed and her roommate just moved out so it made sense financially. We met at a party and have definitely been wearing rose-tinted glasses as everybody is for a while, but I'm feeling more and more that theres a bunch of differences that are slowly coming up.
She blanket-assumes that all time not explicitly mentioned to her as me being out of the house for something announced at least a week earlier is time I dedicate to her. She does of course not explicitly forbid me, but if something comes up, even with no plans for us made, she will get in a mood about it. I basically have to announce everything I do beforehand and explain why I'm doing that and why now, even when I get up just to go to another room. Spontaneous meetings with friends are pretty much out of the picture - according to her, she feels like she is being ditched and like she is a lesser priority to me. I've tried explaining the concept of opportunity to her and that I can't see my friends or specific friends that often due to our schedules not linking up while we can meet most of the time since she only works part-time, rarely makes plans with her few girlfriends, has tons of free time and due to us living together - but she's having none of that.
Second, we have absolutely zero common interests. We've spent the past years mostly with things anybody enjoys - traveling, cinema, series, dinners. But as for actual interests there is few to no overlap. We tried each others hobbies, but both really disliked it, so we stopped. There was conversation about finding a common interest, but it would really just be another "neutral" activity like painting or hiking.
Now nearly everytime we bring almost any topic up, we disagree on it. Vacations, Home Decor, Clothing, Shows, Movies. The only things we can agree upon are maybe a handful of movies and to some degree politics. And she really enjoys discussing things while I'm the type of person to just let it go. The result however is that our shared life is mostly her design while I don't really have a say in most matters - plus the constant arguing about mostly pointless and opinion-based topics is grinding my nerves to dust.
I've noticed myself getting angry and storming off from arguments about completely irrelevant and pointless things where I would simply not have cared before. I feel like she is turning me into a worse person emotionally. Also I really do not see myself making compromises about absolutely everything for the rest of my life. Additionally its usually not enough for her to just agree on having differing opinions. She absolutely insists on explaining and meticulously arguing why my opinion is at best wrong, at worst stupid and expects me to change it. The thing she likes most in the world is being right about something.
Also, she has been gaining weight. Not a lot, but noticeably enough to make her less physically attractive to me. I'm in good shape and its very important for me to keep it that way. It's a topic that we have talked about before, and she swore to me that should that ever happen I should bring it up. Now however, I have dropped some subtle hints about me hitting the gym more and if she wants to come along so we can spend more time together, but she hasn't been picking up at all. Even any word in the direction of that, even if not directly about the topic but for example about clothes looking unflattering is an extremely sensitive topic and is immediately taken as an insult.
Now of course mind that this is all from my perspective, but these are all issues I've brought up to her before. I feel not respected in this relationship and of course it has it's sweet moments but it is mentally and emotionally draining, at times I feel almost imprisoned.
However: Are these actual issues, or is the issue here in my head? I do sometimes feel like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill with some of these points and that nobody has somebody who is truly perfect as I'm certainly not either, but since a few month this is starting to feel like these are differences that cannot be solved long-term.