State your needs
I'm. Fucking. Tired. Of being told that I need to take up more space, be more assertive, state my mind, be confrontational, be more ✨️authentic.✨️
Because it feels like every time I do so, someone gets upset with how abrupt or rude I am. And more than a few times, the upset person is the one who's also telling me I need to gain some confidence or communicate my feelings or set some boundaries or stop apologizing.
Which is it. Spoiler: it doesn't matter. People want to give advice and assume they'll automatically like what happens. And sometimes they don't. To be clear, I don't think this is a "well I'm just an asshole, I'm just like that and I can never change or take accountability for how I hurt you" situation. People can be unintentionally hurt by things I said, but the fact that it's unintended doesnt make it go away. Its my responsibility to accept that what I said hurt you. In return, I ask that you accept that when I'm in pain (period) half asleep (after my bedtime) and upset (bad day), I might not be able to interrupt you talking at me with grace. And instead just say I want to go to bed and read, and do not bear ill will to you.
And I suppose I could say something witty here about Pandora's box or hypocrites or a monkey paw but... it just hurts.
And I'm going to channel that hurt into being the swamp hag of my dreams.