u/B-XD420

I (28F) recently bought my first house. It’s older and could use some cosmetic updates, but it’s completely move-in ready and was actually priced significantly lower than comparable homes in the area, which is a big reason I bought it.

From the beginning, my bf’s (27M) dad has been pretty negative about the house. He repeatedly told me I overpaid, implied I was stupid for buying a house that needed “so much work,” and generally made comments that rubbed me the wrong way.

Recently they were both over at my house. At one point I went into the bathroom and noticed the toilet seat had been left up, so I came out and jokingly said, “okay, which one of you left the f*ckin’ toilet seat up?” I meant for it to sound like teasing/ribbing, (even though I did mean it), kind of how guys joke with each other. His dad kind of laughed and ignored me at first.

A few minutes later I brought it up again and said, “okay seriously though, please put the toilet seat down.” He refused. We went back and forth a few more times, and every time he refused and started making comments about how I was stupid for “not knowing how to use a toilet” because I could just put the seat down myself. He also implied that it was my job as the woman to do it.
At that point things escalated. I’ll fully admit that after being mocked/refused, I got an edge to my voice and raised it some because I was frustrated that a simple request in my own home was turning into this huge issue.

Finally, I calmly said, “okay, I would like for you to leave now.”

At that point he stormed out, slammed the door, yelled “DON’T ASK ME FOR A F*CKIN THING,” got in his truck, and peeled out of the neighborhood.

The part that upset me most though was my boyfriend’s reaction. He said absolutely nothing during any of this. He didn’t defend me, didn’t tell his dad to calm down, didn’t say the sexist comments were inappropriate — nothing.

Afterward he completely dismissed my feelings and kept saying “it’s just a toilet seat.”

I repeatedly tried explaining that it was never actually about the toilet seat. It was about:

-Being mocked and disrespected in my own house after making a simple request

-The sexist comments

-Feeling unsupported by my boyfriend while someone spoke to me that way

My boyfriend says his dad felt disrespected by the way I initially called him out and thinks I escalated things unnecessarily. I can understand that my wording/tone may not have landed the way I intended, and I did acknowledge that later.

But then my boyfriend also told me that afterward, his dad told him he needed to “keep his woman in line,” and my boyfriend admitted that he said NOTHING in response to that either because he “didn’t want to escalate things.”

I still feel like the actual issue is being ignored.
Now my boyfriend thinks I’m massively overreacting and making drama over “just a toilet seat,” while I feel like this situation revealed a much bigger issue in our relationship.

AITA?

Hi, guys.

I’m writing this because I just really have to get it off my chest.

Four months ago I wrote a post here expressing concerns about my 29 year old girlfriend.

I said that she had recently been teaching a class on a university and I was concerned about the relationship she was having with her mostly 18 year old students.

I expressed concerns because she didn’t see herself as a teacher and was behaving like just another student with them. She talked to them about relationships, sex and very personal stuff. She was hanging out with them every single day after class and I was concerned because I know she’s a very impulsive person who believes limits don’t exist.

She told me that I was just jealous of the amazing relationship that she had with them. She told me that she told all of her friends and that none of them saw nothing wrong with what was happening.

Everyone here also told me that I was jealous and a she was doing nothing wrong. I was told that she should dump me for being possessive.

Well! She did break up with me, then she proceeded to wait until one of her students turned 18 to have sex with her. It was also the girls first time.

Then she came back to me and told me that she loved me and that she wanted to marry me, without telling me anything that had happened.

Just yesterday, she finally confessed because another one of her students, who she was also friends with and she also made out with her, threatened her to go to the police and file a report.

She’s now telling me that she didn’t know why she did it, that she doesn’t recognize herself.

I’m not even mad, not even sad. I’m just relieved that I wasn’t fucking insane for four fucking months.