u/Azulalixs

My gf and I (both 28) have been together for almost a year and have known each other for almost the same amount of time. We didn’t use to fight as much but now we fight too much. And we’re long distance, different countries. We mainly fight about the same pattern and on top of that I always feel like I’m not enough. She’s extremely particular and intentional which are good things but after a while it’s become exhausting. I can’t tell if she’s just high maintenance or I’m just not doing enough. She’s also such a planner like to the T and while I do plan it’s not to her level. She doesn’t trust me in planning stuff and she’s said it so many times that it feels like I can’t do anything for myself to make shit happen. There’s obviously more to this but that’s the gist. A family member knows of somethings about what we fight about and she finds my gf to be too much and kind of tiresome and controlling. This is my first relationship but sometimes I feel like I am being controlled but idk, I dont have a past relationship to reference. I’m a pretty chill person for the most part and generally hate when people control me but with her it’s different. I love her so much and I want to be able to be enough for her and meet her standards but idk if it’s just a difference in personalities. My gf seems to think we are fundamentally different but we share the same values and beliefs to an extent. Idk what to do.