How my size made me uncomfortable for no reasons except lack of sexual education.
M31
This is a very unusual story about a grown ass man who learned to late how to use condoms in the proper way.
I'm from south italy, the periferal area. In those areas the people around were pretty much conservative about many things (expecially when i was a teen), and sex arguments were a huge taboo. You could speak about it, but the moment you ask advices most of the time you get mocked as a man. This means that basically everything i knew about sex i learned in the past because my parents told me the very basics on how to not mess up everything and the rest was trial and error. I always thought i was even "malfunctioning" with a condom, since i always lost erection when i used them. And this put inside me alot of insecurities. I never spoke about it with anyone else and i avoided many occasional encounters because if i wasnt totally sure that the girl i was going to date, didnt use pills or spiral and was healthy i simply just avoided them even if i liked them. Or in the best scenario i just focused on pure foreplay instead of a complete experience to not diaappoint them.
Now i am a big guy, ex football player, and i always saw the size of my penis was just average or even little. This made me embarassed and insecure to be seen even in the changing room after football training or gym. I was so stupidly scared about finding out i didnt get a good dih, that i never, and i mean never, misured it for so many years that is insane if i think about that.
At the age of 26 i met a girl, that girl once said surprised that i got a good piece. I was thinking she were just kind to me, but my insecurites were just overwhelming. I liked so much, that i decided to start using condoms because she were not using pills or similar. But the moment i used it, my erection was hard to keep and so my self esteeme. Then she told me that i was completly wrong about what i was doing. She decided to mesure me, and just after that i found out i had 6.3" lenght for 5.5 grith. She told me i should have bought bigger condoms i couldnt belive it, then i found out that my size fits in XL or even bigger, depends on the brands, and o couldnt hide the fact that i felt like a teen when i discovered i was not little or average, but "gifted". Even if i know that size doesnt matter, since my bed moments were mostly focused on foreplay for thr reasons above.
The moment i realized i was just totally unaware about how condom works i felt stupid, and when i used those, all my insecurites went away. And since that encounter, with her that now is my stable partner, my sexual life changed alot and i cant even count how many occasions i lost when i was young because i never learned basic stuff about "what condom i should buy".
That's all, i never told this story to anyone because i always found it ridicolous but here we are... 🤙