Is It Cruel To Challenge CisHet Gender Identities?
This is not an inherently aroace topic, but I think me being aroace is still significant.
I began pondering this after reading another thread about "What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone?" and for some reason my brain supplied the one or two times when I asked cishet men, who were attracted to me/wanted to date me, "If I was a man, would you still want to date me?" And of course all of their answers were, no. I don't really know why I feel it is so egregious to ask this question, I can feel it is wrong, but I can't quite understand why. I thought maybe because challenging anyone's identity is just rude, but maybe because cishet is the majority, I felt like I had the right to question them and it feels belittling?
I was hoping someone could maybe throw some ideas at the wall with me.
If it is relevant, I am biologically female and I present as female because it makes life easier. But I don't like the idea of people mainly liking me because I am female, an aspect of myself I do not lovingly embrace with open arms lol.
I do not pursue relationships. But if I liked someone enough to establish a closer companionship, their gender would not bother me. Perhaps these men were thinking about the sexual/romantic aspect of a relationship which would have never happened in the first place.
Edit: Thank you everyone for your input. As you can tell from my replies, I have concluded that the question itself is not the problem. The problem is that I asked it with the intent to antagonize others. The memory of that negativity is what made me question whether or not the question itself was cruel. I apologize for being insensitive.