u/Aya160

I knew it in the deepest part of my heart. This wasn't "love," it was "dependency." But I couldn't stop it. It was my first love in a long time, and he was younger and purer than me—it was as sweet and thrilling as a first love.

He gave me so many sweet words, but I felt like he wasn't interested in the real "me." Even after five months, though my body knew him, he didn't even know what I liked—my favorite things, foods, or drinks.

I adjusted everything to his convenience, as he was busy with work. I pretended to be understanding and acted like the kind of woman he would like. I wanted to make him happy, and I did it to keep him from leaving. I was blind.

Unlike true "love," "dependency" is unstable and unhealthy, with my mind always obsessed with him.

At one point, my chats to him went unread for a month. I had heard that "work was especially busy lately." I had replied, "Please focus on your work and life for now." But in my dependent state, I couldn't trust him completely, and my mind and body were in total turmoil.

However, in exchange, I was finally able to make up my mind.

"I can't go on like this. I have to leave him."

I turned off notifications for his chats.

He blocked me.

Since then, every day, every hour, I miss him so much. Tears overflow as I remember the fun days when we laughed together.

But I'm sure this was for the best. It was fate that we met and parted at that time. Perhaps it was a necessary scene in the play of my life.

But right now, so many emotions and tears overflow that I cannot put them into words. It's so painful... I miss him so much...