u/Axlxyz123

Kinda what the title says. I’ll be hanging out with my cis girl friends and they’ll say stuff that reminds me they genuinely like being girls (don’t feel dysphoric), and I just have to nod along even though I can’t relate.

For context, I’m a trans guy and not out to anyone because of religious and social reasons.

Some examples are stuff like:
“I’m glad I don’t have [male body part], that would be awkward.” or “Don’t work out that muscle too much or you’ll look buff.”

And they always expect me to agree with them, so I just kinda sit there silently.

It’s weird because it’s sorta validating in a “yeah I’m definitely trans” way, but it also feels isolating and frustrating. Does anyone else deal with this?

Also do you care if a woman uses it? And if yes does it work both ways? Most my friends say they don’t give a shit who uses what room.

(Keeping this short)

Every time I’m around people I feel like I have to constantly monitor myself. I hate that they can see how feminine I look or hear my voice.

It’s not like I don’t try. I bind, wear masculine clothes, cut my hair, practice my voice and mannerisms.

The worst part is I can’t come out. I’m in high school with conservative Catholic parents. Any time I hear them talk about gender roles or my brothers I just want to disappear.

I’m tired. I can’t think straight. I just needed to put this somewhere.