I've never been popular with girls/women. Get along and make good friends with them perfectly fine, just never get seen as a romantic prospect. I don't harbor any resentment over it; the heart wants what it wants, but it still used to sting. The few relationships I *have* had all ended the same way; going no contact once a better prospect was made available to them.
Some years ago I decided I just wasn't compatible with romance, and resigned myself to perpetual bachelorhood. For the past few years I had been generally content and at peace with it, but as of recent I have been getting these dreams. Romantic dreams; nothing sexual, just meeting a nice girl and hitting it off. Sometimes I get to ask her out, sometimes things pile up and I don't get the chance to before waking up. Regardless, the coming day is ruined for me as I'm given a cruel taste of something I can't have.
I have several people in my life who genuinely care about me, I'm generally well-liked by people around me. It makes me feel like a spoiled brat to somehow still feel unwanted, and it feels like betraying myself because I firmly maintain that it's okay not to be wanted, at the end of the day, though I'm nowhere near perfect I like me, and people around me like me. But still, I can't help but be reminded that a certain type of emotional connection i crave is simply out of my reach.
Ecuadorian skirt steak sandwich