Hello! My baby will be turning 1 next month.. I'm a FTM but I've been home since before my pregnancy because I knew I would get HG and it was going to be rough.
I have a supportive husband physically because he can take care of the baby and lets me go exercise or get a massage but I have all these feelings as a mom that he doesn't understand. He is having a ball being a new father and just doesn't understand any negativity. He is also home quite a bit because he has his own business. I looove being a mom but the weight of being everything for my baby is weighing down on me and I just feel like I'm on edge and when one thing goes wrong I just feel like I hate being a mother, I kinda want to disappear.
I have no mom friends.. I'm the first in my family to have a baby. I live in a multi generational home with my mother and siblings because I knew I needed help and support after having a baby... which is fine but my mother doesn't help out much or at all. She has watched him 2x alone for 1 or 2 hrs. She does hold him when I'm busy maybe 1x or 2x a week. I don't mind that so much but I do have some iffy feelings because we are not very close and she is just not very motherly. I've accepted this but it's also made me feel very lonely coupled with my husband not being very understanding too.
Idk.. I'm generally a positive person but it feels like my mental health is taking a turn for the worse. I feel like I lost my best friend which is my husband since becoming a mom. He is a very particular person so sometimes can get snappy when hes tired after work but I'm like that too when I am overstimulated.
Idk it might be burnout.. might be the constant learning and changes that me and baby is going through.. that I dont have anyone to talk to about motherhood? I go out 1x a week with my friends and they love my baby but they're not mothers. I am constantly on a high of watching and taking care of my baby, who I love so much but also I am down from just the sheer exhaustion of taking care of him and the household and having all these feelings I've never had before.
Seasoned SAHM... any advice? Or stories of your own.