How to get ex out of my head?
I’m 3.5 months out from breaking up with my covert ex, and about six weeks out from moving out and going nc. (Ex has broken nc several times, even showing up on my new doorstep unannounced twice in the first two weeks after I moved.) But we have kids (not together) who are still in activities together and the kids had a big event this past week, finally ending today. So I’ve had to be in close proximity to ex multiple times and it’s been torture. At one point yesterday I had a very minor incident which if it had happened while we were together ex would have berated me like a child and it would have likely continued to escalate. I was terrified that ex would see what happened, and I ended up going out to my car and sobbing hysterically in a full panic.
How do I get out ex’s voice out of my head? Because of the kids’ activities it’s possible that we will have to spend a lot of time together starting next fall, and I can’t express how much that makes me want to die. Is it even possible to heal when I can’t be completely nc?