Life
Hello everyone, just a long talk from me but i hope it helps someone.
First of all, I want to say that I’ve been feeling so much better about my diagnosis recently.
In the beginning, I couldn’t go out without thinking about it constantly. It caused me so much anxiety. I would compare myself to everyone around me on a night out and wonder whether they had it or not. If a guy approached me in a club, I would immediately think about my diagnosis and pull away.
But now, after three months of crying, anxiety, and depression, I’m finally starting to come to terms with it.
I’ve become much kinder to myself, and I’m beginning to enjoy my life again. The thoughts still come up sometimes, but I think that’s a natural part of the healing process. Therapy has helped me tremendously as well.
I just want anyone who is struggling right now to know this: it really does get better. And it will.
I’m always here if anyone wants to chat or even hop on a call.
To be honest, I decided to stop dating for a while and deleted all the apps. That helped take my mind off the constant worry about disclosure. At first, I was almost rushing to meet new people because I felt like I needed to disclose quickly, just to see whether I would still be accepted.
Now, I see things very differently.
Whether someone accepts me or not is no longer something that defines my worth. If someone rejects me over something like this, that says far more about them than it does about me.
One of the biggest things that helped me was realizing that I am so much more than this virus.
And looking back, I spent three months feeling miserable… for what? Nothing about who I am changed.
I’ve had two outbreaks since my diagnosis—one genital and one on my buttocks. Neither was pleasant, but the second one was very mild.
At this point, I genuinely don’t care anymore. To me, it’s a manageable skin condition. It does not define me.
If someone cannot accept you because of this, then they are simply not the right person for you.
On another note, a friend of mine recently visited her gynecologist and mentioned my diagnosis to ask for advice and recommendations.
The gynecologist told her that, in her opinion, I didn’t need to disclose to future partners. She explained that herpes is often not included in standard STI panels and that many doctors do not view it with the same level of concern that society does.
I was honestly shocked to hear this.
For me, disclosure is still something I will always do, and I am not encouraging anyone not to disclose. But it does show how much stigma and fear surround herpes compared to how it is viewed medically.
When I was diagnosed in the emergency department, the doctor didn’t even mention disclosure. He simply prescribed antivirals and told me that the symptoms would go away and that I should carry on with my life.
And perhaps that says a lot.
Maybe this condition is not nearly as devastating as we are often led to believe.
Anyway, apologies for the long post. I hope you all had a lovely weekend, and I’d love to hear your thoughts so we can have a little discussion.