u/Away-Director6144

I cheated on bf ( I love him sm for a fact 😭 Like he was the guy that i mentioned 24/7 infront of my bestie ) . Ironically idk why and how that cheating stuff gave me pleasure.

UNTILLL...

one day my bf checked my phone when I fall asleep and confronted to me next mrng that he saw my videos with other guy. I was in shock. The first thought came into my mind was I lost him cz somewhere Ik he will not tolerate ts at any cost. It was so heartbreaking for me as well to saw him in situation like this (he was flabbergasted since he can't even thought of being cheated up by me ). I was crying like hell in front him.

Somewhere I knew that none amount of justification gonna work and eventually he will leave me nd so he did.

I love this guy sm that I'm having guilt in my mind till today. (It's been 2 months ).

Talking abt feelings, I felt so dumb to myself that i ended up being hated by the guy I loved most once.

I'm 20F. I lost my father at the age of 10 so I'm single parent child since then. My mom doing alot for me nd love her sm until last yr ( when I saw smth that truly flabbergasted me).

I livin in joint family with my uncle ( nd ofc his family including aunty and 3 childs ). So we all hv been together for 14-15 yrs but I never knew it's going to be most difficult survival for me.

Last yr in may I caught my uncle and mumma doing not really sex bt kinda thing together. It was so fuckin embarrassing for me watching my mumma doin all ts. At very start I really don't know how to react to it. I started consoling myself that it's human desires and I should understand her perspective but I don't know I found myself so guilty to know all this (thinking about my aunty ).

I can't take it anymore guys. What you think? What should I do ?

P.S. my mum and uncle both are unaware of thing that Ik their kali kartud.