I (F19) am confused whether I should sacrifice my friendship with (M20)
I have friends and of them are guys and we would play together as a squad to win. One of the guys is my friends, let’s call him M. M has always been the one to play with me until the others came along. That was when we started chatting and turns out one of them had a girlfriend which was N who is M’s best friend since childhood. So when we played together, I didn’t mind M flirting with me because it’s just a joke but N and the others joined along. I think they knew I would be uncomfortable so they stopped.
I didn’t really mind playing as long as they know their boundaries. Mind you, before this event took place, my mind was just set to play games.
However, as time went by N kept on trying to play with me joining/requesting me in everything I play. I ignored him as that is my boundary to him since he has a girlfriend. We are not close. I always joined M to play since he is my friend and also N’s friend. I didn’t think much about playing games when I’m with M.
It then started to a point where I would play with my other friends and N would always try to request to play with me. I proceeded to play with my other friends than with him. He then texted me in the game saying that I should request to play with him. That had me I was like “What?” I didn’t really think much since he probably has other friends to play you know? This happened so many times and I just chose to ignore it.
Also, when this took place I can’t really tell M about this because they are friends. I cannot compete with N because they have been friends longer than i am. I don’t know M ‘that’ well as we are recently starting to get close. The problem here is N. Which side do you think M would take even if I do tell him?
In my mind, if I tell M, N would know.
I wanted to ask M if he has his girlfriend’s number but don’t you think that would make it obvious that i was going to report N to her? M would probably tell N to be prepared? They’re like bro’s from what I’ve encountered when they’re talking in game.
That didn’t happen because i was also thinking about what would my relationship with M be if i tell.
I tried to get her attention somehow. I exchanged my phone number with M.
Then, there comes to a point where I wanted to confront him so I played duo with him but he didn’t really do anything besides playing games. He tried talking to me but we didn’t really converse much.
But then when we were playing, he asked if he can have my number and he wants to text me just to play the game. I declined, he then proceeded to say “but you gave your number to M?” I then said “yes” and it I think he was awkward for being rejected but I wasn’t because I was trying to get my courage up to tell him that what he’s doing is wrong. It then proved my point that M told N that he has my number. 2-3 games later I didn’t have the guts so I just went off and bid my goodbye to him.
I played duo with him because I would rather advice it privately rather than in front of his friends who would probably twist my words. I can’t do it. I swear I tried but he was just quiet and maybe I was being to full of myself that he took interest in me? Then I just kept quiet and un-added N.
Weeks went by and I think my hunch was right when his girlfriend added me in the game. At first I didn’t know it was his girlfriend because there’s a lot of usernames and I don’t know who’s who.
So months went by and she keeps on adding me and un-adding me. It made me suspicious if that person wanted to hack my account. Mind you, I don’t know his girlfriends name nor account. I was fucking oblivious.
I then proceeded to see her initials in his bio so i just stared at her username. I finally get to tell her but why am i scared that she will blame me? My way of trying to get to her attention was horrible as i was playing games with M,N and others as well.
Why? I’m afraid she will blame me. I have the screenshots of him trying to play with me but I don’t think that would convince her. So right now I’m just scared.
My friend M. What would happen if I tell the girl? Would my friendship with M end? Would all of this turn into a fight? Every negative things is going through my mind about my relationship with M.
Please don’t harass me, I don’t know what to do as I have never encountered this before. There’s a lot of overthinking in my side and I can’t do it. I feel guilty as hell.