My mom has been an alcoholic for almost 5 years now, and I don’t know where to go from here. It started out as a shot after work sometimes (she drinks 99 shots, which are 99 proof vodka shots I believe, so one of those by itself is pretty powerful), to several after work, to getting fired from her job for being intoxicated, to getting in a wreck and getting arrested (very, VERY much over the legal limit), to physically assaulting my dad multiple times, to traumatizing my child and attempting to physically assault me while pregnant, to getting admitted to a mental health hospital for threatening to hurt herself, to driving drunk to and assaulting my elderly grandparents (her parents) in their home, getting arrested and facing multiple felony charges (which her parents dropped because she’s their only daughter), to offering to “watch” my children with my MIL (who we actually asked to watch them) while I went into the hospital for gallbladder removal and attempting to take ONE of my children to her house while so intoxicated my MIL could smell her and texted me to let me know, to showing up to my brand new home so heavily intoxicated she couldn’t even remember being there.
I told her when I was pregnant with my oldest child that she needed to stop (the first time she was arrested), and she missed the birth of my second child and didn’t meet them for several months because she couldn’t get herself together. Now I’m faced with the fact that she’s a possible danger to my children, she’s broken my boundaries more times than I can count, and doesn’t seem to grasp how serious I am about this entire thing.
The messed up part is I’ve talked to her on the phone a few times in the last 2 weeks and she’s seemed okay, totally sober, but apparently she’s been calling my grandmother back to back to back (something she only does when drinking), my dad has gotten into arguments with her (again, only when intoxicated, they otherwise have a pretty great relationship), and she’s texted me a couple things that just seem off, Yknow? I don’t know what to do anymore. If I cut her off (which is the next course of action) I don’t get to see my dad (it’s complicated- he has issues with the person we got our house from/live next to, and I wouldn’t be able to go see him at his as she’d be there), and my entire extended family on her side would berate me, belittle me, and otherwise shut me out over it.
I’m just so lost right now and I feel so stuck.