I got sa'd and I don't know how to feel
I (19FtM) got raped yesterday. It was a new guy I met, he spiked my drink and took me to his apartment, he assaulted me pretty bad, even hit and slapped me. I woke up to him putting it inside me in the morning while i was completely dry down there. He took my virginity. I resisted, explicitly told him not to do it cuz I'm a virgin. He still did it and didn't really use protection. When i woke up there was semen dried on my private parts. It was overall a horrible experience, my whole body hurts and I'm bruised down there. But for some fucking reason I want more, I get aroused when i think about it. I feel disgusted by myself cuz I didn't want it. I don't like dick, never did. And now I want it to happen again. I even thought about asking him to hang out again so it would happen again. I'm so lost, i don't know why I feel like this. Is this normal?