u/AwardGlass5333

My APs just make shit up atp to get mad about and then blame me or everyone else, but themselves. Like recently my AD got mad at me for the bathroom smelling bad even though we BOTH use the same bathroom and only blames ME. Then the other day, my AM got mad because I was leaning back cross-legged whilst on YouTube in my gaming chair and saying that I was acting like the “president” for the way I sit like what are you even yapping about atp to get mad about?

Like how do you come across a kid who hasn’t done any wrong and then make shit up to get mad about and treat me like I was the devils spawn himself. I have known people who get away with so much more and don’t even get punished, but I just exist or breathe or sit or do anything at all and I get yelled and reprimanded??? Make it make sense wtfffff.

A lot of people seem to get offended when you talk bad about their abusive parents, but I never felt that way towards my APs assuming it’s in good faith and true.

But I never really understood getting offended if your parents are shitty to you. Especially with APs who lack love, but are very narcissistic and revel in it.

For me, when it comes to making fun of my APs for their shitty behavior, I’m game for it. I

It’s already hard enough to be a child of immigrants because you gotta deal with cultural clashes and trying to pave your identity and being stuck in the middle between your parents and the culture they would call home versus the country you’re born in. I’m been called an ABCD (American Born, Confused Desi) and some other derogatory terms like that.

But it’s certainly made infinitely worse by the fact if you have APs and family that are strict or shitty or both. I see it often in my family where everything is a competition of comparisons to be won and not a cooperative effort to build each other up. APs will gloat their kids achievements whilst the kids themselves hardly talk to each other and if we do, it’s very formal and very surface level.

If you asked me the first thing about them in regard to them as people or their interests, I wouldn’t have the darnedest fucking clue. I could tell you what job or career they’re doing or pursing because APs love to brag, but beyond that, I don’t know shit about them and frankly I don’t think I ever will.

And don’t get me started on the language barrier, I hate being told by older relatives including my APs to speak the “mother tongue” even though the language (Malayalam) and it’s restricted to ONE STATE in India (Kerala) like maybe I would have an interest if you didn’t keep trying to force it onto me and make me feel less than for not knowing it fluently. By the way, I can understand them verbally mostly given that I stayed for a year in my early years in India (long story), but I can’t read, write, or speak it.

Plus Indian culture generally dispenses the same bile of toxicity and it sucks to know that some relatives of mine around my age also engage in this toxic cultural way hence why I don’t get along with those folks. I’m just happy I got to live in the U.S. and get away from that to some extent, but at the same time, my APs brought what they remember and tried to apply Indian standards to an American system and it just isn’t compatible. I don’t plan on really engaging with it much because it’s just bad memories and trauma that preclude most of it.

Like sometimes I wonder with the way they treat us that I wonder if they even wanted us in the first place. Like I remember not too long ago, a female older cousin of mine gave birth to a baby and she said to my AM that because her daughter was playing with cars and stuff that she would be an engineer.

Like why do y’all have to think about the career of an infant for? You got PLENTY of years before you gotta start thinking about that to begin with.

And now I start to wonder how my birth went and whether or not they just determined I would be a doctor which would explain why they never let me explore career options growing up and long before I was even thinking about careers.

Then when med school didn’t go well for me, they just blame me and not themselves. And if they do blame themselves, they mean in the sense of saving face and not genuine introspection ofc.

I don’t even know if I want kids and if I ever did, I hope that I parent them way better than my APs did.

My AM was going off on me a few days earlier for talking to my female friend and accusing me of being in a relationship with them even though they live on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast lol.

And it’s so weird because she kept yelling and yelling and didn’t even let me make my case to even defend myself, afterwards she stormed off, but I don’t understand being that upset over me talking to a friend about their day and what they’re up to.

Like I was just talking about small casual stuff and my mom immediately assumes it’s a relationship based off things I would say to a guy friend.

It just goes to show that she doesn’t really know that men and women can be friends, this type of traditional mindset dies with me fr.