Ik it’s kind of stupid and close friends keep telling me, I can literally just call myself what I want. But for the last like 6/7 years I keep questioning myself.
I always thought sex was kind of weird as a concept. I think I had crushes but sometimes didn’t feel to comfortable in relationships that came of those crushes. I always engaged in sex in relationships, one where it was regularity because I thought that was just what‘s normal. Didn’t really care for it. Another relationship where I realized I can also decline it, and then it basically only happened once ever 1-3 months. (This was also stressful because I knew my partner wanted more). Physically I do enjoy it but it’s so weird mentally to be comfortable with it and tbh if my partner had said, „nah let’s never do that again“, I would be so fine. I just don’t care for it. I mean I have fantasies but I don’t have the urge to live them with an actual human being. I think I find people attractive but only WITH cloths ON. Nacked people are kinda gross. And I don’t need to kiss them or have sex with them.
So far I only been with allo people but I’m considering looking on ace dating apps. …(but I’m also kinda questioning if im also aromantic?! But that’s just a whole other problem)
Now my problem: I’m 23, I have been taking the pill since 13. No side effects that I really know of. Every time I tell people of my assumption about asexuality they are like „well it must be the Hormons, it just kills your libido“ or „it’s normal, many women want less sex than their partners“. But is this normal? I’m currently single, still taking the pill. Ik I should stop but I’m scared. Scared I’ll feel like another person, scared I’ll realize I’m not ace, idk how I would feel if I suddenly would want sex? I’m not comfortable nacked in front of others and other people nacked make me uncomfortable.
Ik my current state is probably very asexual I just don’t know if it’s real? Ik I should stop taking the pill but it scares me. I made a doctor appointment for this, it’s in a few weeks, I just hope a doctor knows if this is realistic that it’s all just the Hormons.
If there is anyone with a similar story or advice, it would be welcome.