Saying goodbye to my long hair
Hi :)
Beware long ramble, I'll be cuting my hair tomorrow, and I have complicated feelings about it.
Starting t, I knew there was a good chance I'd lose my hair early. My dad started to lose his around 30 and I only ever knew him with next to nothing on the top of his head. So I decided 2 years ago to grow my hair, to enjoy having longer hair for a bit so that when the time came it would feel easier.
I feel like the time has come, a bit earlier than what I've imagined since I'm still closer to 20 than 30. I'm a bit sad about the fact that longer hair isn't going to be an option for me anymore. When I first noticed that my hair was thinning, I chose to not stop t either, as I love every other reversible effects like muscle mass, how my hands look with more visible veins and sinew now, not having periods anymore, how my beard is still filling in, etc.
I also knew about the possibility of dht blockers, minoxidil and all that but I don't think it would be good for me either. I'm glad it's a possibility for people. Knowing myself I think I would just spend even more time thinking about losing my hair, how it makes me sad, and anxiously wondering if the treatment is working. So I decided that for my own peace of mind, it's better to let go. It's not without its own feelings to deal with tho.
I like trying new haircut and styles. I know what I look like with a buzzed head and I think it fits me, so I've never been too scared to try a new hairstyle as if I don't like it I can just buzz everything. This time tho, it feels more final which is what makes me a bit sad I guess. My hair is definitely thinning on top, and my hairline ir receeding so I don't think that they will ever grow as long as they are right now anymore. I've always loved the idea of long hair. It feels like there is more options of styling, and being able to pick and chose outfits based on how I feel that day is something I enjoy. Longer hair was also a way in which I liked to express my queerness and femininity. Seeing pictures from all you lovely people being so cute and having wonderful outfits with all kind of hair length has helped me to imagine other ways in which to express this part of myself, so I'm thankfull for the existence of this sub <3
I will dye my hair pink after cutting them tomorrow, to help myself process this bit of sadness with some fun and colour. I had purple hair some time ago and wanted to try pink ever since then, so it feels like a good time to do that. I do look forward to this new colour and to being less hot this summer with shorter hair ^^
If you'd like to share your thoughts in the comments, be it advice, something that resonnate, hairstyle and outfits idea, go ahead I'll read it happily :)