WIBTA if I asked my boss to rescind my gf's job offer?
I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for 1.5 years. I have diagnosed ADHD, which affects my emotional regulation and memory, but I work hard to manage it.
In February, my GF wanted to work the summer season away from home after graduating high school. Her mother only agreed if I went with her. I found us a restaurant job where I would start in April and she would join in June. I moved across the country, settled in, and have been performing well. However, our relationship has soured.
The Issues are everywhere, starting with emotional volatility. Even before I moved, she was hostile toward me. Now that I’m away, she uses me as a "punching bag" for her insecurities. Then there's the "Double Bind": If I forget to text goodnight, she gets angry. If I do text, she’s sarcastic and hostile (e.g., "Oh, I’m honored you remembered"). Also, whenever we argue, she threatens to break up after the season ends. When I finally agreed that we should just be coworkers, she backtracked, claiming she only said it to "shake me up."
Also, she's been dismissive as hell. When I expressed feeling lonely and stressed, she told me not to "burden" her with my feelings.
My boss noticed my mood drop and asked what was wrong. I explained the situation and clarified that while I can work professionally with an ex, I’m not sure she can, as she has never worked or lived away from home.
The Dilemma:
My boss told me he values my work and doesn't actually "need" her. He offered to tell her the position is no longer available or move me to a different housing unit so I don't have to live with her.
I feel stuck. On one hand, she is the reason I’m here, and taking away her summer job feels cruel. On the other hand, I am certain that if she comes, she will continue the emotional abuse, and if we break up while sharing a room and a workplace, she will make my life a living hell. She continues to play the victim and refuses to change her behavior.
WIBTA if I told my boss to rescind her offer to protect my mental health and job performance?