ive been assaulted 3 times as a younger kid and ever since then i cant stop getting involved in sexual situations that i really deep down dont wanna be in. its not even a conscious thing, but i cant bring myself to say no to anything even if i dont like whoever is doing it and im lost. i feel so disgusting for what ive done and i dont know how to stop. i have a new friend and he just said he likes me and im scared itll happen again. i know that if anyone replies to this itll probably just be "then work on saying no" or "just dont" but its really not that easy for some reason and i cant figure out why. for context, i never had many friends throughout my life, and if i did theyd just abuse me- and i started homeschooling during the pandemic and since then ive really had no one but people i meet online.
since i started doing stuff more and getting out more, ive had a LOT of guys confess to me and it scares me deeply every time because i feel like i cant say no.
advice would be greatly appreciated, or if you know why this happens that would also be nice 😭