Preferably someone from the United States (South or Midwest) and someone who's accepting of LGBTQ.
I'm just looking for a friend it's so hard to keep relationships online when people live so, so far away, but I've just been bored with life lately.
I'm 15M, and I'm going to the psychiatrist for the first time in a few days because a couple months ago I kind of snapped and told the doctor the truth because she was pushing to see my legs, where I have scars (I've never told anyone about my sh until that point). I also told her I wanted to end my life but had no plan or any intent of actually doing it. Well, now I regret saying anything at all because I'm scared of going to the psychiatrist. I guess I just want help and advice on how to act and how to not be so scared. I also have absolutely no idea what to say when I get up there. I mean, there's not really anything to say. I just want to end it, and that's it.
I keep having awful dreams they feel so real and also like they last for several hours, and it's torture. Sometimes it's really nice. I'll have pretty regular dreams that feel really real. Sometimes I don't even want to wake up because of how nice they are, but those are only sometimes. Most of the time I'm having dreams where I'm being hunted and then killed, but more recently I've been having dreams where I'm not the victim, more so the perpetrator, and it's actually horrific. It's so hard to explain because in the dream it feels so weird, like stuff glitches or doesn't look how it does in real life. Most of the time the stories don't even make sense, but I’m ending peoples lives in these dreams and after doing that the dream goes on like some shit you would see in a crime show but I’m the one doing it I’ve been waking up feeling sick I know it’s fake and it was just a dream but still someyimes I feel so guilty like it actually happened like I actually harmed someone and I feel like a horrible person.