u/AttemptDependent3911

Previously posted 3 days ago about my wife wanting a divorce, currently, im stuck in limbo that im living in my 'room' of the family garage. Which i converted into a sort of man room I guess.

Things just, aint improving, I guess i shouldnt expect them to, but I try to be cooperative, nice, talk as normal, no matter what, all I end up is having it thrust back at me 'theres no us anymore remember' or, 'you need to be focusing on the kids, not me' and all im trying to do is make communication to make less of a discord in the house..i dont get how its a problem...

Some days I still hear her or, on occasion see the tears from her crying, and I just think, you say you dont care, okay then. Its either a lie, you do care, or its something else, this point I dunno. I cant prove infidelity (in previous post) so I just have to try let it pass, and it hurts like hell.

Right now, im sat completely alone, in the dark, besides light from my phone. And all I can think is how much I miss my life, and by that, I mean my wife. I miss her. I miss everything about her, but mainly I miss her laugh, it was ao perfect to me.

But now, its like that person has left the planet, im stuck, I have no friends to call, I only speak to my kids really these days where its meaningful, and at work, but let's face it all I get at work is their sorry to hear it.

So here I am, alone. Sitting in the dark at least provides little comfort I guess, I feel defeated, lost,I flick through my photos and see when we were happy..or so I thought, and it breaks me.

Ive already boxed stuff up, just to try hide it from my mind but deep down, I cant let go. It was more a case of if I didn't, she would of I guess. I still hold onto hope, which seems to be the worst idea I could have. Some tell me if you still communicate, theres always a chance.

But im no longer sure. Sometimes I just get the darkest urges to start up my car, drive..and just drive..to wherever it takes me.

Because anywhere seems better than the places my mind is taking me these days.

Im sorry for the rant of a broken man.

Married husband 3 years, 2 kids. Both under 10.

Life's been at best rocky past few months, hell maybe even a year and I never truly realised.

My wife is a stay home mom.

I work full time and often get home late, do the grocery pickup, clothes wash and general house chores.

I never thought much of it really, it was just life or so I thought..

As time went on, id come home, more often than not id sleep in my garage where I set up a spare room of sorts. It was my chill zone, when I got home my wife would normally be crashed out and id disturb her so we agreed it was an optimal idea.

Then I should of probably noticed but was naive and not paying enough attention in guess. Kids and work was hectic at best. Not to mention managing the house upkeep. Time flashes in a instant.

One night I was stuck in traffic, driving home. What was normally a 40-50minute drive home turned into 3 long hours, I got a flat tyre, worst luck, my spare tyre was at home. No signal on my phone, I got lucky with a passer by who was able to help me out with a spare, wind, rain. The works of a good nightmare film.

I finally got home at 2am. And as I tried to silently get through my home, I noticed the bedroom light on, I peaked my head through and saw my wife on her phone, I peaked in, apologising for not contacting and began to explain, then I noticed her almost panic, she flipped her phone screen up to remove stuff then turned the screen off. I found it odd and asked what was up.

She said nothing and as I told her my nights mayhem, something was off, I asked how come she was up so late, she just said she wasnt tired. I found that strange, she'd always been fairly solid on the sleep aspect.

A few days later, I again came home, and heard crying, I checked and my wife was sobbing, I immediately checked on her, again I noticed the same scenario, the phone being flipped off, I tried to ask what was wrong, to just be shut out and told to leave her alone..then I started to realise, something was wrong. Another person must be involved.

Ive gone through anger, sadness, to just completely blank. The more I think, the more it hurt. I found myself wanting answers. We have a door camera and house cctv, so Im certain the person has not been in my house. Simialry shes never left the home without the kids or myself. Or her family so Im not sure what shes been doing directly.

I challenged her on her behavior, and she snapped at me, telling me how im at fault for things, things not being good at home, and they hadn't been for a while. This surprised me, I asked why she'd not said anything, her response was she shouldnt have to, I should of been present more.

I argued that we need the work and money for the house. Kids etc, and if I had a magic ball, hell yeah id love to be home 24/7 but its not possible in today's climates.

She then made it clear, she wanted to file divorce, this took me aback, and I realised I was beginning to be a simp over her. Telling her I love her, I love our family, that id do anything to mend things.

She just ignored it, told me I can stay in the garage but ultimately it was over. Since then, ive been feeling just sadness, loneliness. Having no family besides my kids, im in a rough spot. I can't afford to leave the home, but the only option I have is stay in the garage, or stay in my car.

I dunno what route to go down next. I dont want to lose my family, but I know now I cant do nothing. I go to work. Put a brave face on things best I can. But its hard, knowing I have no friends or family makes the feeling of loneliness weight even heavier.

I dunno what will happen from here on out.