Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for a year and a half, and I've never felt happier. The relationship is healthy and there’s nothing wrong, we are like two puzzles who fit right together.
However, when we first got together, there were other people involved in terms of crushes and attraction on both sides. On my side, there was this one guy (now 20M). Considering how fast it all happened (really complicated story, not rhe point of the post), I never really had the chance to actually fully develop feelings for him, but at the same time, I also never got the chance to completely get rid of them—they were more just “shut down.”
Part of the reason I was attracted to him is that he’s quite similar to my boyfriend, both in looks and personality. He graduated not long after me and my boyfriend got together, so I assumed I wouldn’t see him again and could just forget about it.
Fast forward to a week ago: my boyfriend and I randomly ran into him. They know each other, and my boyfriend is aware that I liked him in the past. We started talking, catching up, joking around, and he even offered us a ride home.
He dropped my boyfriend off first, then me. When we were alone in the car, something about the conversation felt kind of “heavy.” Not exactly like a crush, but definitely different. Since then, I genuinely can't get him out of my head and he appeared in my dream.
Normally, I wouldn’t think much of it and would just assume I probably wouldn’t see him again, since he studies in a different town. However, during that conversation, I found out he’s transferring to a different university and field—unfortunately, the same one I’m planning to apply to next year and the uni is not exactly large and the different years communicate with each other.
I don’t want to be in a relationship with him or anything. I really love my boyfriend and would do anything to keep what we have. But I feel like a bad person for still having these feelings. I know they didn’t start during the relationship, but that doesn’t make them easier to deal with. Im scared to talk about it with my bf because even I am confused on what it actually is.
So my question is: is there anything I can do about this, knowing we’ll likely be attending the same school in less than two years, and that a year and a half in my relationship hasn’t made these feelings fully disappear?
And am I a bad girlfriend? Should I be rethinking something in my relationship?
TL;DR;: I have a perfect relationship with my boyfriend, but before we got together, I liked another guy and after he graduated, I forgot about him. When I randomly met him, I found out we’ll be going to the same school. Now, after not seeing him for a year, the attraction came back. How can I get over him without hurting my relationship?