So when I was about 12 I found out about porn and got addicted to it. At first it was pretty normal porn to say the least but when I reached age 14 I had stumbled upon beastiality porn and I wasn't in my right mind at that time because I was horny. I then proceeded to masterbate to it and afterwards I felt heavily guilty. I haven't done it for a year and then it happened again the excitement of doing something risky got to me while being extremely horny and I masterbated to it again. I can't get over it since then, and I just feel like an extremely sick horrible person. I've never thought of my pets in that way anytime, but I just feel extremely guilty.
A few more days passed with that porn incident and I had watched the documentary about Jeffery Dahmer and Im scared of being like him. Today at school, there was a dead hummingbird and I picked it up, showed it to my friends and then buried the dead bird. They kept on calling me weird and I just cant get the fear of being a worse person out of my mind. I already know Im bad because of the porn thing I dont know what to do. The thoughts are killing me.