u/AstaHolmesALT

Before I continue, I’m just going to say that I’m a minor with no way of getting diagnosed. I legally can’t get a job cause of age. My parents are divorced and u stay with mom. Most of the time she works and we are a bit distant so really I can’t bring this up.

I’ve been questioning if I have psychosis, and I want to hear opinions from you guys.

A lot of the time, I get a set of thoughts in my head that’s not mine. Not like an internal monologue that just read my thoughts or run me through thought processes/ it’s like another entity. There’s a few of them, some good some bad, and I hold individual conversations with them, but I don’t hear them or see them so I don’t think it’s schizophrenia- they are just things in my head that I can talk to. This has been happening for around 5 years.

The bad one has been telling me a lot for around a year- telling me I need to shut down and stop feeling and stop feeling emotions, and what scares me is I am starting to believe it. Can’t fight it, and it’s been affecting me a lot. I get distant, I hold conversations with them without realizing it, and at night I get panic attacks.

Now, while there is the good voices, they’ve been showing up less and less. I used to be able to just bring them out, but now I can’t..

I don’t really understand it, and I am not educated on every detail regarding psychosis. Maybe there’s others here who experience similar, maybe there’s another term and box I can fit into, but I really just want to put this here so someone can see it and help me figure it out, even if it’s just a bit. Again, I don’t see or hear it, I think it, and for some reason that feels much worse.

I am vaguely aware that it’s fake, but at the same time it feels so real at times. It really has been affecting me quite a bit, and while I might try to seek help, realistically I probably can’t. (Family is the kind to tell me to just “think happy”)

Have a nice day, yall, and if you have any idea on this.. please drop a comment.

It might look normal but