So I know I am going to be getting heat for me not being okay with their relationship, but its a risk I'm willing to take. I'm not homophobic to keep it clear and I was fine with it in the beginning.
This has been brewing for a few months now, my girlfriend and I are about to navigate a long-distance relationship, but the only issue is her gay best friend and how close he is to her. I have asked her time and time again to give me attention and she still can't do that.
Where her gay best friend comes into play is in her friendgroup. She only has one friendgroup at school and really in general. I don't have too many close friends at school (at least I don't talk to them as much) but I have a much wider friend group. However, her friends don't like me around, and specifically the gay best friend.
To get things started with the weird relationship, he's the leader of the friend group, and he has a lot of girls wrapped around his finger because he's popular. But that includes my girlfriend entire friendgroup. But this guy is a narcissist, he's always paying attention to how he feels and he NEEDS to be the center of attention.
So the moment my girlfriend gives more attention to me, he starts to avoid her.
At prom, my girlfriend was following him around, which made me follow her, that would make anyone feel like they're not good enough and chosen.
I believe that he's the problem since she would a lot of times much rather be with him than me, and I have brought up so many small things that lead to "fights" (in her words) and "disagreements" in mine. I am convinced that she is more worried about her relationship with him than our relationship together.
We have been dating for 6 months, I have put so much time and energy into it to try to be the guy she wants to be around. But she is worried if she doesn't give her gay best friend all the attention he wants, that she will lose her friends (since he runs the friend group).
He doesn't like me, if you can't already tell, but I have tried to be nice and integrated in her friend group, but it just won't work. I'm not asking her to stop being friends with him (though it would be much easier if she weren't), but I just don't think that the gay best friend is healthy for her, especially seeing manipulation tactics being used.
He also does thing around me (that I believe are intentional), such as holding her hand, comlimenting her about things only a boyfriend would compliment, being really touchy, and that's something any boyfriend would be uncomfortable with, and he knows that, so since he doesn't like me, he's gonna do things that will make me upset and in turn, make my girlfriend upset.
Also there are plenty of double standards. Her friends and the gay best friend can say bad things about me but the moment I say something about the gay best friend (and I've never said anything bad about him, just things he does that make me uncomfortable), I'm the bad guy?
Anyways you guys who don't care to read can hate on me all you want for being homophobic or whatever, but I appreciate those with and outsied perspective chiming in their thoughts.
I think her priorities are messed up since she has been friends with him for so long, not being close with him would be like losing herself.
TL;DR: Girlfriend has messed up priorities with a manipulative gay best friend, and I dont know what to do next.