feeling like your trauma is insignificant and not enough
my parents never harmed me physically, sexually assaulted me or anything that would be obviously considered abuse.
it took me years to feel comfortable enough to say i was emotionally abused, and even now i constantly doubt myself for making stuff up, cherry-picking and exaggerating.
it feels like i should have no reason to feel this horrible. My trauma is nothing compared to others, that even calling it trauma feels like im going to the hospital over a thorn stuck to my finger.
i constantly wish i had worse trauma, that i would have been beaten or starved or raped or any other thing i could think of because that would make my response justified, knowing i have a good reason to feel this way and that my response and feelings towards what happened are justified.
it so bad i genuinely feel jealous when hearing other peoples horrific childhoods and upbringings, since they are justified to cry and freeze and get scared of loud noises and have trust issues and everything else, while i should just get over that since i have no good reason to have those feelings.
every time i hear about someone elses trauma is so much worse than mine, and it just makes me feel like the only way i would be comfortable enough with my own feelings is to now experience something worse, that is not "worth" saying is traumatic.