u/AssistanceNo2159

I (F, 30s) need a neutral perspective on a long-term situation with a former business partner (M, 30s). I’m keeping some details intentionally vague for privacy, but the dynamic is accurate.

We met a few years ago through a shared creative industry. I was starting to gain some traction, while he had more experience and already had connections. I initially saw him as someone I could learn from and trusted his judgement.

From the beginning, a lot of our conversations centred around gaps in the industry and how things could be improved. We quickly started talking about ideas to build something together, and it felt like we were aligned creatively and in terms of purpose.

At the time, I didn’t question the dynamic. I felt like I was learning from him and was happy to follow his lead, especially as he seemed to value my perspective in return.

Looking back, though, the dynamic also became emotionally close very quickly. Within just a couple of in-person meetings, he shared very personal details about his past and relationship struggles, and encouraged me to open up about my own experiences.

There were also moments that blurred boundaries—for example, after one of these early meetings he hugged me, kissed my forehead, and said “I’ll always be here for you.” At the time I interpreted this as him being a warm and supportive person, but in hindsight it feels more significant.

We were also in very frequent contact early on, speaking or messaging most days, and quickly developed a sense of being “in it together” both emotionally and professionally.

Those early conversations developed into plans for a platform we could build together. We eventually co-founded something that grew into a fairly large platform with multiple contributors. On paper, we were 50/50 partners.

In reality, the structure never really matched that. I eventually left my stable job to support the project, while he kept his and treated it more like a side commitment. As things grew, I took on most of the operational work (managing content, people, systems, etc.), while he was less consistently involved.

Whenever I raised concerns about sustainability or asked for more structure, he would say I was putting too much pressure on him or not respecting his family priorities. Over time, I found myself compensating more and more to keep things running.

At the same time, our dynamic remained emotionally close. We spoke almost daily, he supported me through a difficult breakup, and I saw him as a close friend and confidant.

But when things became more stressful—especially around workload and responsibility—he began to distance himself. Toward the end, when I was particularly overwhelmed, he said “I’m not your therapist.” That stood out to me because of how emotionally open and supportive he had been earlier, and I took it as a clear signal to stop confiding in him.

Recently, he has stepped back almost entirely, and I’m left feeling confused and hurt—not just professionally, but personally.

Looking back, I’m struggling to understand the dynamic as a whole:

• Was this blurred from the start, given the mix of mentorship, emotional closeness, and business?
• Did I over-invest because I trusted his experience and the sense that we were building something together?
• Or was I effectively carrying both the emotional and business weight while he avoided responsibility?

I feel a mix of guilt, frustration, and sadness, and I’m finding it hard to separate what was real from what I might have projected.

Any outside perspective would really help.

My fiancé (34M) and I (31F) have been together for 13 years. Life hasn’t gone the way we planned—due to some major setbacks, we’ve had to delay things like buying a house, getting married, and having children. We’re hopeful it might still happen one day, but it’s uncertain, and that’s been hard to come to terms with.

Because of that, I’ve poured a lot of love into being an auntie. I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews, and it’s been one of the brightest parts of my life while we figure things out.

Over the years, my fiancé and I talked a lot about our future, like most long-term couples do. We even had a baby name picked out for a girl—something really meaningful to me, inspired by my grandmother, with a slightly unique spelling. We never told anyone. It just felt like ours.

Recently, his sister announced she’s pregnant with a girl. I had this weird gut feeling beforehand that she might use “our” name—and somehow, she did. Not just the same name, but the exact same unusual spelling.

At dinner when she shared it, my fiancé reacted in shock and said something like, “wow, you called it.” She got really upset and said we were unfair for reacting that way and that we had no right, especially since we’re not even expecting.

I immediately reassured her that she should absolutely use the name, that it’s beautiful, and that we don’t own it. I truly meant that.

But later, it hit me much harder than I expected. That name wasn’t just a name—it was tied to years of imagining a future that already feels uncertain for us. Now, every time I hear it, I feel this wave of sadness I can’t really explain.

At the same time, I feel guilty for even being upset. I know logically no one owns a name. And I don’t want to take anything away from her or her pregnancy.

What’s been hardest is that she still seems angry at us, while I feel like I’m quietly grieving something I don’t really have the right to grieve.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? And how do I move forward without this turning into resentment from either side?