Don't know how to answer questions about my scars
At a point in my life closer to my birth than my current age, I felt angry and disgusted at myself, and because of that anger I took a knife and cut my forearms. A lot. I have around 100 scars on my forearms.
I changed a lot, of course, I have a great wife now, and an amazing kid (F7)... who asks just the kind of question that is difficult to answer. So two days ago she asked "what are those scars?", I told her it was getting late and I'd need time to give a proper answer. This morning she reminded me, thankfully it was on the way to school.
And... I honestly don't know what to say, or if I should say anything at all. The thing is, my mother has scars on her wrists, one day when I was a kid I asked what they are, she said "one day I was mad at your father, and I punched through the window, it was really a stupid thing to do". And for the longest time, I accepted that answer and didn't really put it into perspective. But when I did, it struck me as obvious that these aren't "broken glass" scars. These are cuts, probably back from before I was even conceived. My family doesn't really talk about our feelings so I never got the opportunity to discuss this with my mom. And of course my main and only thought now is to stop that cycle, and make sure my kid remains as joyful and carefree as possible for the longest time.
So I don't know what to tell her. I could refuse to answer, tell her she's too young, except I've always found a way to provide an age-appropriate answer for each and every question she threw at me. Or I could lie, except I really don't want to do what my mother did, I think that lie will be similar to a wall built between my kid and I and will make every discussion about her mental health when she's a teen more difficult. Or I could say the truth, but how, to what extent, what kind of word to use... I don't know. I just don't want to let her down.
So I'd really appreciate any help, please.