“Midoriya.” “Hagakure.” “If you pull that shit one more time, I’m gonna fucking strangle you.” “You’re just mad I’m stealing your bit.” “Because it SHOULDN’T WORK-”
Full-run quirkless Izuku AU with a heaping helping of crack.
It all started when he was caught in the middle of a bank robbery. Izuku, aged 7, was quirkless. He was a lonely boy, not really “bullied” in the typical sense, more… nobody had any expectations for him whatsoever, so he was completely ignored. Even when he declared that he wanted to be a hero, the reaction was typically something along the lines of “That’s a nice dream, I guess. Pretty sure you’ll end up as a janitor though.” Thus, when he was at the bank with his mom and one of the three criminals got up in his mom’s face, the only one of the three with a gun, he had that one terribly ill-advised intrusive thought that many people have had when they see someone in public with a firearm.
What if I just… grabbed it?
So Izuku, almost in a trance, got up from where he was crouched, and walked up to the robber.
“Stupid kid, are you tryna play hero? You think your fancy quirk can help you here? Sit down before you die.”
“I’m quirkless.”
“Oh.” And the gunman just… turned away from the boy who was still standing right there, going right back to threatening his mother. So…
Yoink.
Nobody reacted.
Izuku was now the one with the gun, and… it was like they didn’t even realize? They heard he was quirkless and suddenly he was invisible. Even the other hostages were still acting terrified of the robber despite the fact that he’d been disarmed. But this guy looked like he was going to do something bad to mom, so-
*BANG* “AUGH, FUCK, MY LEG!”
The other two robbbers rushed over, panicked, and… ran right past Izuku? He’d dropped the gun since he wasn’t expecting it to be so loud, but now picked it back up and pointed it at the other two, saying with as much courage as he could muster, “G-get down on the ground and surrender!”
“Kid, you’re quirkless, just be quiet! We gotta figure out where that shot came from! Is Snipe in the area or something?!”
Izuku… genuinely didn’t know how to process that. So when in doubt: repeat what works.
*BANG BANG* “FUCK, THEY GOT ME!” “THEY GOT SOMETHING AGAINST LEGS?! SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD!”
Clearly the bank trip wasn’t going to end until the police showed up since everyone was still looking around for a hero, for some reason, but- oh there’s the police.
“POLICE! SURREnde…r. Hey, kid? Why don’t you put the gun down?”
“I’m quirkless.”
“Oh, carry on then. Anyone see the hero who did this? Or was it a vigilante?”
And so Izuku went home. With a gun. That nobody bothered to question. Because quirkless people couldn’t be threatening.
He was gonna be a hero and nobody would see it coming.
Fast forward a few years…
“Wh- Midoriya? Where do you keep coming from? And where did my gauntlets go?!”
“HE’S NOT FUCKING SNEAKING AT ALL! HE’S WALKING RIGHT UP TO YOU AND STEALING YOUR SHIT WHILE YOU WATCH HIM DO IT! HE MANUALLY UNEQUIPPED YOUR SUPPORT GEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT AND YOU JUST LET HIM DO IT! FUCK! WHY!”
“Calm down Hagakure, you just need more practice! You’re invisible, so with a little effort you’ll be able to do this even better than me, I’m sure of it.”
“I will murder you in your sleep.”
—————————
Basically, the concept of “quirkless people are treated like they’re incapable of doing anything” taken to its (il)logical extreme. Izuku becomes functionally invisible and registered as incapable of being a threat by anyone with an even mildly powerful quirk, the instant that they hear he is quirkless. Hagakure is losing her shit because people are on watch more for the invisible girl than the completely visible boy who is walking up to people and putting handcuffs on them in broad daylight. Midoriya, who has become something of a prankster, greatly enjoys ragebaiting one of the only people who actually registers his existence on more than a purely conceptual level.