He 24M told me 20F I was the love of his life while drunk and now I’m confused
I (20F) think I caught feelings for a guy (24M) that I was only supposed to casually hook up with and now I genuinely don’t know what to do.
For context, we met a few months ago at a club. I was dancing alone and he randomly came up to talk to me and dance with me. Since then, I kinda became part of his whole friend group and we usually all hang out together at one of their places on weekend nights before going out or after parties/bars/clubs. Because of that, we’ve spent a lot of time together in group settings and there was always tension between us, flirting, teasing, hooking up sometimes, but nothing serious. The thing is… I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone before. And I hate admitting that.
The problem is that he has a girlfriend/ex situation that’s REALLY messy and on-and-off. They’re technically together right now I think, but this weekend things got super intense between us.
Friday night we all went out with friends and around like 6am he basically confessed that I was supposed to be “the woman/love of his life” and said he was in love with me. At first I thought maybe he was just drunk, but then Saturday night we all went out again and he said similar things again and we ended up sleeping together.
He also told me he’s scared of being alone and that his current relationship feels “safe” because it’s familiar. Apparently his mom likes me and months ago he even invited me to go with him, his mom and her friend to a concert, which he said he’d never normally do with a girl he barely knew.
The thing is: I genuinely don’t know if he actually means any of this or if it’s just emotional/drunk chaos. Most of our relationship exists in nightlife settings and alcohol is usually involved. I know chemistry when I feel it though, and this feels different from anything I’ve experienced before.
At the same time, I’m terrified of relationships and vulnerability. I crave intimacy SO badly but I’m also scared of it. I’m scared of not being enough, of being abandoned, of being a replacement/rebound, of getting attached and then destroyed. I struggle a lot mentally and honestly don’t even fully love myself, so part of me genuinely wonders how someone else could love me.
I also know I probably sound stupid because technically he cheated on his girlfriend with me, so I’m not blind to the red flags. But at the same time I can’t stop thinking about him and replaying every interaction from this weekend in my head.
Part of me wants to “fight” for him because I feel like if I don’t, maybe we lose something that could’ve been special. Another part of me feels like I’m about to ruin my own mental health over a guy who might just like the tension and chaos.
I genuinely don’t know if I’m romanticizing this whole thing because I’m lonely/love deprived or if this could actually become something real.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? And how do you know if someone actually means what they say when they’re drunk?