u/Asmellia

I have autism but I feel as if my symptoms are too strong to be just autism, I freak out at my partner if he does anything, he can say something in past tense or just mess up a sentence or stutter and ill freak out at him, ill block him and in my mind its as if he did something terrible to me that he cant be forgiven for and that he betrayed me but then a few minutes later I realise how dramatic I am and I go running back to him, Im trying to stop but I really cannot control myself its as if i have two personality ( not literally just how it feels like ), and i go through phases where I shut down and I relapse and I get so depressed where I dont even want to leave bed to do anything, and then in just a day I can be jumping around my house and dancing and so happy. I dont know if its just my emotions being more extreme due to autism or if its something more, yesterday I tried to od and i sh for the first time in months and I didnt eat at all and today I feel amazing and im studying and I just feel so energetic, this has happened to me since I was 12 or 11, and I try to convince myself that its normal and it wont happen again but its just a loop, does anyone have help on how to fix this?? I dont know how to stop it