I’ve been living in Poland since 2016. I came here to study architecture, graduated, and thought life would slowly get better afterward. Instead, it feels like the pressure only kept increasing.
During my studies, I worked to support myself and partially cover my university expenses. I struggled financially for years but kept going because I believed eventually I’d stabilize my life and career. But right after graduation, my parents expected me to financially support my younger brother’s university education and living expenses in Georgia.
I genuinely tried my best. I helped whenever I could, even when I barely had enough for myself, but somehow it was never considered enough.
Things became worse after my parents found out I had a girlfriend. Around the same time, they decided to send my sister abroad for studies too, despite me warning them repeatedly about visa requirements and the risks involved. She ended up getting deported twice before eventually continuing her studies in Pakistan.
For context, I was born and raised in Kuwait. My father spent most of his life providing for us and helping relatives back in Pakistan, but we never built anything for ourselves there no house, no safety net, nothing.
Earlier this year, after five years abroad, I visited Kuwait. On the third day itself, I was told that all the financial help I had provided over the years basically meant nothing. A huge argument happened within the family, and because of the war situation and airport shutdowns, I got stuck there for nearly a month.
When I finally returned safely to Poland last month, nobody from my family even checked up on me.
Yesterday, I reached out myself, hoping things would calm down, but all I heard from my father was:
“I gave you everything, and you still can’t take care of anyone.”
That sentence genuinely broke me.
I’m 31 now. I can’t even think about marriage because my life feels permanently stuck in survival mode. Every time I save money, it disappears into tuition fees, family expenses, emergencies, or travel. I work as an academic tutor and freelance occasionally in architecture and visualization, but stable opportunities in architecture have been extremely difficult to find.
Sometimes I feel like my worth as a son is measured only financially.
I know desi parents sacrifice a lot for their children, and that guilt eats me alive every day. But I’m mentally exhausted. I genuinely feel trapped between wanting to build my own future and carrying responsibilities that never seem to end.
Lately, the suicidal thoughts have become more frequent because I honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep carrying all of this alone.
I’m not posting this for sympathy. I just genuinely want advice from people who understand desi family pressure and if you could give me any advice or anything please let me know.