Husband not paying rent and now I have Travel Ban
If anyone has experienced any of this at all I would really appreciate some help and advice. Already have a (new) lawyer but he’s new and keeps saying ‘all will be ok and nothing bad will happen’ and it is NOT reassuring me hence I am here.
Long story but i’ll try to stick to the main facts. My husband and I are both british from the uk. Have 2 young kids and I’m a Stay at home mom and always have been . Husband had good businesses in the uk and we had a good life - big house in london , kids in top private schools, 3 big holidays per year etc. Then things started to go wrong , tax issues with ex business partner , some bad decisions although i wasn’t aware of what was really going on as he didn’t tell me at all. The last 5 months of our mortgage in london he didn’t pay although all bills and everything else was paid on time always by me . He handled the mortgage from his personal acc hence i never knew. Then He told me he was going bankrupt in the uk as his debts were getting too high and we should move to dubai for a new start and he could make good money here due to no tax and cheaper school fees etc . He reassured me everything was good but that we needed to leave the uk as due to his bankruptcy he could not own any more businesses there .
We came here , he chose the villa , the cars (had 2 initially) . All was ok for the first 8 months or so. As i got my emirates id first before him and the kids he said we needed to rent a villa and so we would put in my name and that went for all the villa’s bills - as he didn’t have emirates id and other paper work yet. I didn’t think much of this and did it. Like i say for the first 8 months or so everything was fine . I was definitely spending less than in the uk , we stopped all travel didn’t even go back to the uk yet since we moved here. But the rent was a lot more than our mortgage back home and we got this maid now and driver and although their salary is relatively low , (i pay higher than average ) all these expenses started to add up and i found suddenly he started to get stressed over money. He said due to the bankruptcy in the uk they had taken our family home. It was were we raised our kids from newborns so i did find that really upsetting. He was spending thousands on uk lawyers fighting the bankruptcy but with mounting lawyers fees he said it was time to end it . We moved on from that emotionally , but started arguing a lot more over money and basic costs here - groceries , he would tell me to lower the maid and drivers salaries , or save money by not cooking for them . I of course did not do any of this . What i didn’t know was he was starting to miss payments on the villa rent. He was telling me to pay the bills ‘when we have the money’ and not when they were due. He said it would take ‘a long time’ for dewa to cut off our services and to not worry about it. To not pay the gardener. I always paid on time regardless but his attitude became harsh and mean. Regular payments from deals and businesses stopped coming in as frequently . If the kids had a dental appointment he would ask if that was really necessary … and encouraged me to cancel it. The tension and arguments got worse at home and then the bombshell hit that he had not paid the rent for 3 months (large amount big villa ) He got a lawyer through a recommendation that reassured him all would be fine . He kept promising DAILY to pay. Last week i left for 3 days to enable him to work and fix our debts - at that point and still now school fees haven’t been paid , but he gave a sob story to the school and so they are expecting the funds next week which i seriously doubt it. The health insurance for us has been cancelled due to non payment. And after 3 months waiting , the landlord/ courts send me a travel ban notice last night and ‘wanted’ notice which is horrific. Got a new lawyer who’s english is much better and says this will ‘go away’ once we pay. I am seriously losing my mind. He has been telling me DAILY he’s got the money and he’s paying it but each day it’s a different excuse why it isn’t done . I have had many notices from the courts and even had to attend a court to promise when to pay this money. He was adamant he would get the money by this date but he hasn’t . Around christmas before the rent issues we were arguing non stop over money . He would check and ask for every small expense and money spent , question everything . Kids were home non stop i was told not to go out or take them anywhere because that cost money and we didn’t have spare money . I had never lived like this before , i don’t mind to stay home but i did feel bad for the kids. Payments used to come into my bank but stopped and by the time one came in i had such a back log of unpaid bills to pay i would have very little left, causing more arguments. He said i was ‘always wanting more money and stop asking me for money leave me alone’ and I was crying as we couldn’t pay for groceries that week . I have now been told to stay home and avoid public places like the mall where i could get arrested. My kids are 10/13 and go to the mall a lot - not to shop but got to cinema / food hall what not . I’m told i can’t do that and again that ‘everything will be fine once you pay’ . The total is 500,000 aed and i currently have about 4,000 aed and im on edge that that will be frozen at any time as they already threatened this in last weeks court notice. I am
utterly terrified i will get arrested. I have trusted my husband for 17 years of being together. He doesn’t seem to have a problem to sleep at night . I am sleeping a few hours a night, have constant migraines that don’t respond to any normal medication (i am not prone to any headaches ) and my eyes are so swollen and red from crying . I have no energy or patience for the kids and i know they surely have heard way too much . I told him every day i trusted you, you said you are dealing with it, i asked do you have the money he kept saying yes. Since the past year he made many bad decisions here business wise. Lent people large amounts of money and didn’t get it back . Uk people he trusted .. both fled back to uk now . Business deals that were delayed or cancelled last minute. Relying on X amount of money and then getting half of that . In the past 18 months i had 2 expensive things suddenly go missing - a pair of very expensive earrings and a fur coat - my 2 most expensive possessions. He blamed it on the maid . I suspect him
not the maid but who knows. When i found that out i cried so much knowing im living with someone whether its him
or maid who is lying to my face , even crying protesting it wasn’t them .
I’m sorry this is so long . i feel utterly heart broken and so upset and scared at the situation he’s put me in . You would think he would want to protect his wife. But he just keeps saying it will be ok , that deals are delayed etc . I feel like honestly i will get a stroke or some kind of heart attack i am so so stressed.