Guy I’m dating matched with my friend on Hinge. Do I bring it up with him?
I (F) have been seeing a guy (M) for about 3 weeks and we’ve been on 4 dates. Things have been going really well, he’s consistent, very attentive, affectionate over text, flirty, calls me “babe”, makes future-ish jokes and overall seems very into me.
We’re not exclusive yet and haven’t had that conversation.
However, I found out my friend actually matched with him and he messaged her the day after our last date where he was being very keen with me, and also during a day where he was messaging me quite a lot in an affectionate way. I completely understand that it is normal to talk to other people at this stage and I’m not upset about that itself, I don’t expect exclusivity this early. But it’s also made me feel weird seeing it in realtime. (FYI my friend liked his profile months ago before we even met and has not spoken to him. She immediately recognised him and told me)
What I’m struggling with is not the fact he’s dating around, but the combination of that + how he communicates with me. His tone with me is quite affectionate and emotionally forward at times, and that makes it feel a bit uncomfortable now given that he is still actively seeking other women.
It’s making me question whether his level of verbal affection is actually meaningful or just his general dating style with anyone. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it, but it’s starting to make me feel a bit unsure about how genuine it is.
On top of that, I’m going away for just over a week, and he’s been making quite flirty/jokey comments about me leaving (saying he’ll miss me, joking I’ll forget him, etc.), which has made me feel more emotionally invested than I expected at this stage. I also wonder if me going away has made him feel a bit insecure and thus he is seeking out other women.
Now I’m stuck on whether I should actually bring this up with him, just so I can relax and not overthink it while I’m away, or whether this is something I just need to sit with as normal early dating uncertainty.
Because right now I feel like if I don’t say anything, I’m going to overthink and put my guard up, which will make it hard for me to continue talking to him and dating moving forwards. It’s making me lose trust.
So I guess my question is:
\*\*Would you bring this up early (not to ask for exclusivity, but just to clarify if the interest is genuine and tone/pace of emotional intimacy), or would this feel off putting if a girl communicated her concerns this early?\*\*