i see my parents as contaminated help
im 17 so I still live at home with my parents and i have been scared to touch them / they touch me / or I even brush up against them (it’s very obvious when i like move out of there way suddenly and always avoid getting close…) without washing every inch of me, what im wearing, everything on me at the time (like i have a backpack on i will put that in the wash to and sanatise everything inside) and all the clothes im wearing so i have just resorted to avoiding all contact because doing all of that de contamination is exhausting, this has been happening for around 10 months. im from australia so tomorrow is Mother’s Day and i feel like such an awful daughter for never hugging my mom or letting her in my room but i am just so terrified that if im contaminated then everyone around me will think im disgusting, so they will all hate me and I will be alone forever, i know that probably sounds stupid and i need to grow up but I can’t even explain why I am so terrified. she has said to me a couple times this week that she wants a hug but I just say nothing and then today she said how about for Mother’s Day I sit on your bed, I want her to know that I love her so much and she means the world to me but she doesn’t understand my ocd, I think she just sees it as annoying and it makes her just hurt by me which is never my intention and I hate it. in the last month I have had three dreams that haven’t been the same but in each of them my parents have entered my room and touched stuff and the amount of panic I could feel in the dream was crazy I just wanted to cry and never stop, and then the relief I felt when I waked up and realised it never happened was just like wow. please just any advice is welcomed I have no idea what to do