u/Asleep-Layer2365

(f15) a lot of times, i'll be talking to a friend of mine, and if the subject of catcalling/men being creepy in public comes up, my friend will somehow always have a million different stories of her being catcalled/stared at/harrassed. she's my friend, and of course, i believe that this kind of thing has happened to her, but i can't help but be skeptical at the sheer volume of stories, specifically ones where men haven't said anything, but have stared. i know her well, and i believe she has a tendency to think take things super personally, not accept criticism or advice, and think that things are about her when they're not. she's a good person, but not super bright. i think she might be thinking that men are staring at her sometimes or taking photos of her, when they're really not.

and as someone who has never experienced catcalling/harrassment in public aside from one old guy staring at my boobs in a shopping centre and two middle school boys who thought it would be funny to ask me to be their girlfriend cause they could tell i was a weird kid at the time, it's a little hard to believe that she's experienced stuff like this at the sheer level she's describing. obviously, just because something hasn't happened to me personally, that doesn't mean it can't happen to someone else, but the way she says that men are constantly approaching her or staring at her all the time makes me think she's exaggerating or misinterpreting situations. and i'm really not trying to belittle her or invalidate her experience, but i do get skeptical.

am i overthinking this?

(f15) i’m white, just for context, and any time i see a black person, my brain says the n-word. obviously, i don’t like this thought, and its not actually what i think about black people. i don’t know if my brain’s trying to direct the word at the person, or if it’s just because of the link between black people and that word, but my brain still says it nonetheless. i hate it so much. the only time ive ever said it out loud was when i was singing along to a rap song and it slipped out by accident, and i felt so bad i cried. i don’t hate black people, in fact, i deeply respect and appreciate everything they contribute to the world, such as music, fashion, food, etc. i admire and support black people, and that’s why i want to stop having this thought. is there any way i can condition my brain to stop thinking this? i feel incredibly guilty every time, and i beat myself up about it.

thank you, and please, if you can, offer advice/tips in the comments.