My fiance (25m) won’t stop looking at other women online. Am I (22F) in the wrong?
(This is my first ever post asking for advice let me know if this situation would be better in different place thank you!)
So my fiance and I have been together for four years now and our relationship has had many ups and downs. I’ve always struggled with my self esteem and body image issues. Which isn’t an unknown thing to my fiance he knows this very well. I have been trying to improve myself and my confidence to help with my health/mental health. But since I recently had a baby almost three months ago that obviously has tanked. I haven’t been able to start working out again and get back to my body weight before I got pregnant. Anyways sometime in the middle of our relationship I had checked my fiances phone I cannot remember the reason but I did. I ended up seeing that he was searching up different women’s accounts on tiktok. Since I seen that I felt the need to check all of his social medias. Of course I found that he was doing it on all of his social medias. His video watch history also happened to have a lot of women on it as well. I immediately started to feel very self conscious and incredibly negative towards myself since these women looked nothing like me body wise. I started being very down and upset which he noticed and asked me what was wrong. I didn’t want to share that I looked on his phone with him so I just said I was tired. A few days later he just wouldn’t give it up so I finally told him. He got upset at me for looking on his phone without asking him first. I told him that seeing all of those women made me feel so bad about myself and he responded by saying he is gonna stop doing looking at them.
Some time passed and my mind has never forgotten about it. I ended up checking his phone again and sure enough he was still doing it but was trying to hide it better. This was very disheartening to me. I confronted him about it and he apologized saying he is gonna stop but got upset at me for checking his phone again without asking. At this point I was bawling my eyes out saying that this makes me look at myself in such a bad way since these women he looked at looked nothing like me. like that was telling me that he desired a women that looked like that. He told me that’s not true and he loves me just the way that I am. We ended up hugging and moving past it.
To now I check his phone every now and again. I know it’s really bad and I should be telling him or asking him when I do this. But I just can’t help but check it to see if he is still doing these things. He still is doing it but lies about it. He says that it is normal for a guys fyp/reels/etc to pop up with a women sometimes but he just goes right past it. I don’t think this is always true because I think they wouldn’t come up on there if he didn’t watch them from time to time. i’ve heard of some guys that do not have women pop up on there social media at all.
What should I do? How do I move past this? I love him so much and don’t want to break up since he is the father to our child.