I am struggling to grieve. Am I normal?
I lost my husband of 30 years just 16 days ago. He was 54 and died of a sudden heart attack with no history of heart disease. It was a shock to say the least. We had a good marriage. He was a pain in the ass sometimes but aren’t we all? We had fun together and still dated weekly. We raised 3 kids together. We had future plans. Now he is gone.
I am concerned because I cannot cry. I know everyone grieves differently but I feel stuck in this weird numbness. I want to be sad and cry because it seems like that is what I should do. But I can only think of the good things, like “well at least now I can let the cat in the bedroom” and “Now I can decorate the living room in pink.” I miss him but not enough - like I am in denial. But I know he is gone. It’s just weird. Am I alone in having this type of reaction?
PS I started therapy, and she doesn’t think it’s weird. I just came here to see if others reacted like I am. And when will reality set in? Thanks