My room is disgusting and I can't fix it, tw: gross
A few months ago I went through a really bad depressive episode, since then my entire space is an absolute mess.
You can't see any of the floor in my room except for a small part of where my door opens, I have to walk over piles of rubbish, clothes and random things from my door to my bed. My bed has a small place for me to lay, the rest is covered in rubbish.
I cant get myself to clean up my room or my bed, I haven't changed my sheets since December. I wear clothes off of my floor, I leave food laying around in my bed or on my shelf until it moulds and starts to smell.
I have little moths in my room and they've layed eggs somewhere and the larve crawl on my ceilings. I feel so fucking disgusting, I feel the bugs on me when theyre not there, the thought of them makes me stop eating and sleeping.
Whenever I shower which is like weekly atm I come out and I just dont feel physically clean. I have absolutely no energy to clean and even with all of this I have no motivation, ive tried every cleaning method and it just doesn't work, I also have adhd and autism which play a role in this.
I feel disgusting and dirty and unorganised and just living in this mess makes me feel cramped and overwhelmed. I dont know what to do anymore I feel like the only way to live in a clean space is to move out. Whenever I do it in little sections it just gets messy again.
How can I clean my room fully and keep it that way, how can I remove the bugs? I feel so hopeless with this.