My girlfriend 25F and I 25M have been together for 7 years, and we’re both from the same hometown. We moved in together after about a year of dating. In 2023, she moved abroad for university, while I started my own studies in our hometown. Since then, we’ve been in a long-distance relationship for about 3 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but overall, we’ve managed well. For the whole time I have stayed in our shared home.
I truly love her. We’ve always talked about building a future together, having kids someday and settling down in our hometown. That’s always been the plan we shared.
Now that our studies are coming to an end, she told me she wants to stay in the country where she’s currently studying because the job opportunities are much better there. She said that having a job she enjoys is very important to her, and if it means staying abroad long-term, even permanently ,she would choose that. She also feels that there aren’t any interesting career opportunities for her in our home country. She also said that she feels that she doesn’t have anything back here. She doesn’t have friends at all in here, but all of her family and mine.
Abroad she has a lot of friends trough university, but nothing else.
What makes this harder is that in the past, she’s said she would look for jobs both abroad and back home, and that she’d want to return to our hometown before having kids or before they start school. Now it feels like everything has suddenly changed.
On my side, I have strong opportunities in our hometown. I’m already working in my field, and I still have two years left in university.
One option is for me to move abroad with her, and I’m open to trying that. But I don’t see myself living the rest of my life in another country or raising my kids there. I’m also very close to my family, and the thought of being far away from them long-term gives me anxiety.
This whole situation feels overwhelming. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to break up, I love her deeply, and I’ve always believed we would spend our lives together and build a family. It honestly breaks my heart to even think that she might choose her career over our relationship. I know there isn’t right answer for this situation.
So is the only option for one of us to give up on our life goals?
TLDR; My gf suddenly wants to move abroad and I dont.