I wish...
I wish things were different. I wish I was different. I wish we had one last conversation. I am sorry for so many times you blamed yourself when, if I was better, those things wouldn’t even have been a problem for us.
It hurts me to see two cats, or two flowers, or two butterflies, or two birds and not being able to text you saying “this is us.” I miss our silly little conversations throughout the day. I miss our conversations that lasted hours on our free days.
You were the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You’ve helped me understand myself more, and I understood many things. I understood why I do some things, I understood why my other two close friendships ended, and I understood how bad a friend I was. You loved me; it might be the first time I felt and trusted that I was loved by someone outside of my family.
You always told me I was as good as possible, and made you feel seen and understood when, in reality, I knew within myself that anyone could do those things. I was nothing special, and you made us special.
We never met in real life, only text and voice chats, and it was crazy how much I came to trust an online friend. I am glad to have had this experience with you.
We are now strangers. I am a stranger who has a part of you in me, and you are a stranger who has a part of me in you.
I know that I will love and care for you, and I know we will never talk again or we will never be the same again. I just hope you get what you deserve in this life. You are a good person and good things must happen to you.
I just wish I was better for you.