My mom and aunt may inherit a 401k that they’d like to split with me.
EDIT: MARYLAND, USA
My grandmother passed in November 2025 without a will and I’m trying to complete the process of managing her estate. I’m currently working with my mom and aunt to get this done. In February my aunt was named the administrator of the estate and a couple days ago we filed our inventory and other requested documents to the court of wills. My grandmothers wish was that the entirety of her estate would be divided three ways. Since I was managing her estate (unofficially) prior to her passing, I am the one who filled out any paperwork for her various accounts after the passing of my grandfather in 2024. I added all 3 of us as beneficiaries to every other small account but I didn’t know about one until close to her passing. I thought I would have more time, I dropped the ball and didn’t add beneficiaries to this one majorly large employer sponsored 401k account she inherited from my granddad.
So when i realized my mistake a couple weeks ago, I added a Letter of Assignment that my mom and aunt signed with a notary that said they want to transfer a portion of their inheritance to me. In this letter we listed this account and the house to be evenly divided amongst the 3 of us.
However today the plan administrator called me back and said that they default to just the children.
I left my job last year to care for my grandmother full time. I’m depending on some form of monetary inheritance in order to care for her 75 year old house and just to live right now. We all grew up in this house but I’m the only one living and paying bills in it as my mom and aunt own their own homes. If this account isn’t naturally divided to include me, I don’t trust my aunt or mom to include me if the process to do so is too complicated. My aunt and mom both make close to/over 6 figures and would also love to play this smart tax wise if possible.
Is there a way to be proactive and get this evenly divided amongst the three of us?
EDIT: My mom and aunt were aware and in agreement to everything I did to every account when my grandmother was alive. My grandmother had dementia but it was just short term memory. She could make her own decisions in the moment but needed help executing them. As her granddaughter and caregiver, that’s what I did. This account was my grandfathers and we did not know about it when he suddenly passed in 2024. I had to find every account of his, including retirement and life insurances because NO ONE KNEW ANYTHING. I spent weeks combing through my grandfathers files trying to figure out banking, insurance, 401ks, pension, everything. When I say I “managed my grandmothers estate” I just mean I am the one who found these accounts, helped my grandmother make phone calls, and fill out paperwork. I missed this account somehow.